Mill Creek GC (9 holes)

Between Burlington and Keyser, WV

1958, James Spencer
Back Tees 3240 33.5 106 35
Forward Tees 2978 35.0 102 36

Fat Guy Review, 2008: If you've made your way here, you're either with me at the annual Trough canoe trip down the south branch of the Potomac River, or you made several serious wrong turns several hours ago and should see a therapist about your aversion to asking for directions. This thing is in BFE. By the time you pull off Route 50 through the flea market, past the abandoned building, and into the gravel/dirt parking lot, you can't help but have Dueling Banjos stuck in your head. Upon our arrival, the dentally-challenged manager apologized for telling one of our 6-some who had called eariler in the week that we didn't need a tee time, as they failed to mention an 8-man scramble tournament they had going on. Seeing nothing but dollar signs, he let us go out as our own 3-on-3 scramble.

You can tell by Mill Creek's slogan printed on the scorecard, "Mineral Counties Best Kept Secret" [note the misspelled "County's"], that this is your typical rinky-dink redneck 9-holer. The greens fees seemed semi-ridiculous at $25 weekend ride for 9 holes, but given the number of courses out here I'd say they have a pretty captive audience. Trough Trip veterans said the nearest 18-holer is another 30 minutes away, is nothing special, and costs $55. However, there is another 9-holer in nearby Keyser called Polish Pines (304-788-6322). No, I'm not kidding. We wanted to play there just to buy a logo shirt, but we found Mill Creek first.

Built in a valley, Mill Creek has 6 flat holes on the valley floor, 2 severe sidehillers, one severe downhiller, and creeks in play on 6 holes. Shortish with 2 reachable par-5's, in OK shape with decently paved cart paths, and featuring small greens. #2 is a half-interesting dogleg over Mill Creek to an elevated green, and #4 is a cute little risk/reward long par-3.

But the main reason to even bother with this one is #8. The Mother of All Downhill Par 3's, it's a 156-yard wedge with a 75-foot, vertigo-inducing, 3-club drop from a hilltop tee with a 25-yard side-wind to a small green with water in front, a road behind, and mature trees infringing on 3 sides. If Royal Troon's famed par-3 is a postage stamp, then this is like dropping a postage stamp onto a dime from the rooftop of a building during a Nor'Easter. Only 1 of our 6 tee balls and 3 mulligans hit the putting surface. Granted, at least 3 of the 6 of us were loaded by the 8th tee, but this is seriously probably the toughest downhill par-3 I've ever played.

Where To Booze & Grub: Wow, that's a tough one. Best bet is to bring your own food. The course sells 12-packs for $7. I think we may have seen a redneck café or two on our way in, but there isn't much civilization out here. Stock up on Lance crackers at the pro shop if you're starving.