Maumee Bay State Park GC

Oregon, OH  (near Toledo)

www.dnr.state.oh.us/golf/maumee/tabid/514/Default.aspx

1990, Arthur Hills
Gold 6941, 73.3, 129, 72
Blue 6557, 71.5, 126, 72
White 6136, 69.6, 122, 72

Directions: From Hwy 75 S or Hwy 280 N, take Hwy 2 (Navarre Ave) to the course.

Fees: ~$38 plus cart
Tee times can be made 7 days in advance for weekdays and only 1 day in advance for weekends.

Golfcourse.com Review: This Scottish links-style course features heather rough defining its fairways. Since the terrain is rolling, expect many uneven lies. Water hazards come into play on 13 holes.

Avg. Golfcourse.com Player Review: 4.9/5.0 on 13 reviews! Unheard-of score for this rating scale on this many reviews on this web site.

Player Comments: "Great links course, exceptional staff, tests your tee game.... generous fairways and greens but visually intimidating, plenty of water and fescue, country club conditions... wind changed directions 3 times, worth a 70 minute drive... wind always a factor, experience helps... I want to live here, as pure as it gets on this side of the Atlantic... worth a 90 minute drive, lots of tee carries, greens tough to read... good weekday twilight pace of play, bring lots of ammo and leave your normal expectations at home... Oh the exquisite pain!... check out the Sunday buffet at the lodge... great crapper... only knock is lack of real restaurant on-premisis." Great value was mentioned repeatedly.

Further Diversions: M*A*S*H* fans will never forget Corporal Klinger's Toledo Mud Hens, a real live AAA baseball club based right here in Toledo at brand-new old-style Fifth Third Field (406 Washington St). Check the home schedule at www.mudhens.com.

Best Bar Nearby: Dean's local hang is the Oak'en Bucket (2841 N Reynolds Rd, 419-531-5412), presumably named after the Big 10 football trophy. For a gentlemen's club, try Hot Shotz (Phillips Ave?). After all (to quote Jason Dean in Heathers), "This is Ohio. If you're not holdin' a brewski in your hand, you might as well be wearin' a dress." For something a little more upscale, go to Rouge (The Bistro, 6060 Renaissance Plaza, 419-824-5890). A sexy, classy, big city room done in a subtle Moulin Rouge theme of black hardwood and votive-lit white cloth tables among swatches of lipstick-red backdrop. Imagine the folks at Pottery Barn mixed themselves a stiff martini before decorating a supper club/lounge, then throw in just a pinch of New Vegas. The vibe belies the upscale-strip-mall-in-Toledo setting, as this stylish room would easily draw crowds in my adopted hometown of Philly. Rouge's airy entrance is graced with a huge Italian fountain and a 500-bottle wine hutch. A quick stop in the men's room reveals tasteful black-and-white photo prints of perfect nude female forms. Syrupy jazz adds to the mood. Make your way over to the bar and ask for Bob, an outstanding mixologist and a good guy. A few sips in, you begin to realize there's more eye candy here than just the outstanding décor. Save for a group of well-heeled Blue Blood blue-hairs who were finishing up a late supper, our evening's shift at the bar saw 5-7 gorgeous young women rotate through, each dressed to the nines and redefining classy/sexy, showing cleavage and friendly smiles, and largely on the arms of well-to-do men. Such a heady mix of beauty surprised, nay, nearly shocked, for a random Wednesday late night in Toledo. As I watched a slim and trendily-clad early-40's salt-n-pepper internet-tycoon-type flirt up his barely-22 and cute-as-a-button platinum blonde, I came to two possible explanations: either this classy room with just a hint of naughty is a perfect don't-ask-don't-tell spot for after dinner drinks on that weeknight date you scored with a potential sugar grrl and/or a sexy hideout to take your mistress, or this is the Toledo hangout for the high-end escort set. Eventually we met Danielle, an early-20's cutie with dark hair and olive skin in a classy LBD, who was waiting for her boyfriend, a sous chef here, to get off work. We also waved introductions across the bar to Michelle, a former hostess at another restaurant where Bob used to tend bar. Michelle was on the arm of an upscale guy and dressed in the latest fashion, showing off considerable, bra-less yet-somehow-almost-tasteful cleavage, and was one of the most beautiful young women I've seen in person in quite some time. Rouge is a great venue for eye candy, but probably not a great pick-up spot, as it seemed to be bring-your-own at this can't-miss mood-setter. I must admit, we didn't eat a meal here, but if the service from our 3-hour stint at the bar and the impeccable décor are any indication, I'm sure the food is out of this world too. A Must Visit for Toledo, particularly if you've got your primary source of good sex along for the trip.

Where To Grub: Klinger also used to reminisce about Toledo institution Tony Packo's. Believe it or not, it's still there (1902 Front St, 419-691-1953), and a great place for a drink and a hotdog with their special sauce, which locals say "tastes great going down, and 3 hours later it still tastes great." For a truly unique steakhouse with the kind of genuine atmosphere that the Applebee's of the world have been copying since the 80's, hit Mancy's Steakhouse (953 Phillips Ave, 419-476-4154), ranked by some among the Top 25 U.S. steakhouses. Housed in an old railstation, complete with original exposed brick walls and stained glass windows, it's got real history. Dimly lit (as a steakhouse should be), service indicative of it's pedigree, great house salads, and succulent steaks. Get the sauteed mushrooms too. Locals also love the beef at HJ's Prime Cuts (Toledo). Local Rick "The Mayor Of Toledo" Brittingham's regular haunt is The Restaurant (5629 Main, Sylvania, 419-885-0295). Check for a steak in a spicy marinade on the menu.

Other Area Tracks to Play: Rick's favorite is Valleywood (13501 Airport Hwy, Swanton). Eagle's Landing is right near Maumee Bay State Park. For a quick round near the Sunoco refinery, try Collins Park.

You still have the M*A*S*H* theme playing in your head right now, don't you?