Palazzo pool

The Denver Post says Encore recently spent $68 million opening their Beach Club. The Palms also dropped $30 million adding two-story bungalos and canvas cabanas to their plainish pool that already drew sick eye candy, so check out the Palms' Ditch Friday pool party. Or check out Sunset Sundays at the Venitian's Tao Beach Club.  Here's the rest of the Post's favorite Vegas pools:

Best All Around Pool- Mirage (Mirage guests only, tropical set-up, lagoons, soothing waterfalls, more space, shade from palm trees--a rarity at many Vegas pools, well-grouped seating areas give a more private feel, $50 lounge chairs, family and adult areas);

Best Family Pool- Mandalay Bay Beach (Mandalay guests only, 3 laid-back pools, lazy river, big wave pool, good fries at the Beach Grill, get there when it opens or you'll never get chairs, bring your own inner tubes to save on pricey rental fees);

Best Euro-Style Pool- Bare @ Mirage ($20-$40 cover, topless chicks, classy setting, intimate pool, reasonable music volume, comfy chaises come with $100 food minis on weekends);

  Bare Pool @ Mirage

Best Mom Getaway- Sunday mornings at Flamino's GO Pool (no crowds, DJ tunes seem kitschy on Sunday AM, no singles on the prowl, good spot to rehydrate or try some hair of the dog, free for guests and women);

  The Flamingo GO Pool

Best Pool Party- WET Republic @ MGM Grand (Underwater speakers, top DJ's, great drink roster, good food, crisp service, clean pool, can be wall-to-wall but enough room to move around, grab a spot on the edge of the pool if the chairs are all taken, $20-$50 cover);

  WET Republic/Lazy River @ MGM Grand 

Best Cabanas- Golden Nugget (spacious, cushy furniture, groovy art, mini-fridge, flat screen, swim up to their shark aquarium, 3 story waterslide);

Best Beach- HRH Beach Club @ Hard Rock (water-edged sand, swim-up blackjack, cool island dip pool within the pool, palm trees, NOT the mob-scene at Rehab, $20 non-guests, go early or late for chairs);

  HRH Beach Club @ Hard Rock

Best Chairs- Garden Of The Gods @ Caesars (varied pools feature waterfalls, swim-up blackjack, social & seclusion seating areas, and sturdy metal loungers topped with velvety soft cushions that absorb water and hold their shape in a cool blue tone set against white columns and statues, Venus cover $20-$30).

Best Waitresses- Sandbar @ Red Rock (Uber-hottie servers wearing traffic-stopping Bond Girl bathing suits).

  Sandbar @ Red Rock

Travel Channel digs the Sunday Rehab party at Hard Rock. Rehab is the hottest pool in Vegas, even in cold weather: a hedonistic oasis just shy of Hef's grotto with upwards of 4,000 wall-to-wall standing-room-only hardbodies.

Exhibitionism and public naughtiness are rampant, with swim-up bars, swim-up gaming, palm trees, a lagoon, a grotto, mini-beaches, hidden Jacuzzis, and connecting lazy rivers. This party is so hot it became it's own reality series on Tru TV (www.trutv.com/shows/rehab).

Snagging a cabana reservation is highly coveted, but not for the middle classes; on top of steep reservation fees and tab minimums, the gorgeous waitresses like to push giant 12-liter bottles of Dom that go for 2 grand, and cabana tabs can average $10,000-$20,000 for a day in Rehab. Even general admission runs $50 for guys and $20 for girls (beware of counterfeit admission bracelets sold on the street), so figure you'll drop a minimum of $300-$400 for a full day here. The line starts forming 5 hours before the doors open at 11AM, so you may even have to skip partying the Saturday night beforehand (or keep it going all night), but this party is soo worth it. Check out the poolside bikini-cam @ www.hardrockhotel.com.

Tip:  Chaise lounges and chairs are plastic gold at Vegas pools.  Get there when the pool opens to snag one.  If not, you may search for 30-60 minutes for a single chair especially on weekends, and forget finding two together.  And some casino pools charge upwards of $100 food and drink minimums just for the privledge of sitting on one.

Tip:  Some casino pools won't provide towels to non-guests even if you paid a steep cover charge, so if you're not staying on-site, BYOT.

Tip: If you're over 35 and/or have a less-than-perfect body, you can still show up and take it all in, but you'd better bring a big wad of cash and a sense of humor, because even the staff may (kinda) jokingly let you know you're too old/fat to be there. I think ESPN.com funnyman Bill "Sports Guy" Simmons summed up the Vegas pool scene for the over-35 crowd best: "We dump our bags, head to an outdoor Mexican restaurant, order Margaritas and try to make sense of the weird mating ritual that doubles as the Palms' Friday pool scene. Between the weather (a crisp 108 degrees in late August) and clientele (put it this way -- there should be a game show called 'Stripper, Hooker, or Vegas Pool Customer'), you can actually see the STDs forming like mushroom crowds. My buddy Camp sums up everyone's feelings: 'If my daughter ever calls me 12 years from now and says she's hanging out at the Palms' pool, I'm going to kill myself.' "

Tip: Pool pix ettiquette: Many exhibitionist bikini-clad young ladies in the throes of Vegas attitude will happily pose for photos if asked politely with a little charm (and maybe a free drink). However, if you're just there to ogle and do the dirty old man thing by sneaking candids of all the unbelievable eye candy, realize that even hotties with perfect bodies in tiny bikinis often don't appreciate being photographed without permission, and these days they're usually woman enough to call you out on it (and/or they're with some big dude who will).

Whew.  That's alot of Vegas pool bars.  Now on to the golf.  Most Vegas golf is upscale; growing plush fairways in the Nevada desert ain't cheap.  Average '08 Vegas rack rates were $140 a round.  So whether you're here to do the full Vegas pool scene for a week, put a nice dent in it over a long weekend, or just enjoy an afternoon or two poolside at your chosen hotel/casino, here's a few upper-end Vegas courses without crossing into $500 greens fees...

Golf Digest Senior Travel Editor Matty G's Vegas Picks: "A little over an hour away in Mesquite NV is Wolf Creek, No. 21 on Golf Digest’s list of America’s 100 Greatest Publics. But the brand of golf, straight from a Bud Chapman painting, is too over the top for me. I prefer all three Pete Dye courses at Paiute (45 minutes from the Strip), both Tom Fazio’s at Primm Valley (an hour from the Strip), and Royal Links. Based on a cheesy concept (18 holes from 11 of the British Open rota courses), Royal Links is close (10 minutes), it’s not bad, and that’s the course that offers Par Mates, the sexy female caddies in little kiltish skirts with an emphasis on keeping your equipment clean—they don’t actually carry your clubs, but they will wash your irons, balls, hold the flag, and flirt throughout the round." Fat Guy Note: If you can't talk/spend your way into the company of an under-35 hardbody at the pool, then the company of a gorgeous Par Mate on the course is a steal at $225 (plus a likely-sizeable drunken 5-hour-round tip, www.waltersgolf.com/par-mates-caddy-program.asp, reserve 72 hours in advance), and Par Mates are also available at sister courses Bali Hai and Desert Pines, as well as a similar hot caddie T-Mates program at the posh Rio Secco (www.riosecco.net/sites/courses/layout9.asp?id=604&page=32616).

Los Angeles, CA

From a pool scene standpoint, L.A. is sort of Miami-West.  With the top 2% of the most beautiful women in the world getting off the proverbial bus here on a daily basis, you know there are solid reasons to find a good pool bar in L.A., although as usual it'll probably cost you to enjoy it.

For the hipster scene, head for: The Standard's downtown location with a rooftop deck pool bar.

  The Standard's rooftop pool

Or hit ION Rooftop Pool Bar, the beachfront vibe at Hotel Casa del Mar's Palm Terrace, the romantic party atmosphere where linen-ensconced poolside tables and skybar compliment world-class restuarants at Mondrain, or the New Vegas-style Tropicana pool bar and celeb sightings at the Roosevelt, which is one of the few L.A. pools where you can swim, drink, and dance til 2 AM.

Travel & Leisure magazine might be the world authority on such things as great hotel pool bars.  They describe their favorite: "Our all-time favorite hotel bar has been around since Prohibition. It’s in a hotel I’ve never stayed at, though I’ve never felt unwelcome there, and never needed a plus-one. The Veranda Bar hides in a lush courtyard behind L.A.’s Figueroa Hotel, a rambling 1925 Spanish-Moroccan pile with character to burn. Fronting a pool fringed with cactus and bougain-villea, the bar has that louche, vaguely seedy vibe that so many new hotels here try but fail to replicate, because they haven’t had decades to fade and decay. The atmosphere is fantastic, as opposed to fabulous.

And the crowd is wholly unpredictable—a rarity among L.A. hotel bars, where the clientele is usually handpicked by doormen, such that they’ve all become velvet-roped sandboxes for the same 127 people. A recent night at the Fig, by contrast, brought out line cooks, downtown suits, Echo Park hipsters, Lakers fans (the Staples Center is across the street), and three off-duty mariachis. None of them could be confused for the beau monde. But under those pressed-tin Moroccan lanterns, in the quivering blue light reflected off the pool, everyone looked sensational."

There are places, particularly in towns like L.A., where Fat Guy wouldn't be caught dead (and frankly make me cringe to even mention on the site), but if your golf widow will trade rare favors for that classic Hollywood vibe, buck up for the classic cabanas at the Beverly Hills Hotel, the great 2PM Happy Hour at The Viceroy's modern classic pool, or the more mod and intimate setting of the bar, cabanas, and spa at Backyard at The W Hotel.

  W Hotel Westwood Wet Pool

If you can afford more than 3 drinks at any of these L.A. pools, let alone the rack rate at any of these hotels, then you'll want to play the best of L.A. public golf.  Head for Trump National.  Golf Magazine says, "A premier site on the coast overlooking the Pacific Ocean with a setting unlike any other public track in the L.A. area. Dye has included all of the challenging greens, gnarly rough, and the extensive bunkering you'd expect. Unfortunately, it's not the best deal in town at [$160-$275]. Bring plenty of ammo. Semi-convenient to LAX for a pre-flight round or a day-killer for any unscheduled extended layovers."

Know a great pool bar?  Send it to me at the Contact Fat Guy link below, and I'll add it to the list.

[Fat Guy Note:  I have only explored some of these courses/locations.  As always, proper research and reservations are required.]