Fat Guy's Tiki Bar Golf Trail
L.A. - San Fran - Portland - Vegas - Scottsdale - Tucson - Milwaukee - Chicago - PA - Charleston - Atlanta - FL
Mai Kai Tiki Bar, Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Pretty much all of the detail on the tiki bars on this page came from these 3 sources:
I'm a sucker for an real old school tiki bar. There's just something about the Polynesian theme, the drink names that range from exotic to goofy, the often-dark-&-dingy bamboo decor, and visions of women shaking their hips in grass skirts. It makes me nostalgic for a simpler, pre-internet, post-WWII vibe, before you'd just book a flight to the real Polynesia on Expedia.com, when some folks thought a stop at a tiki bar was cultural experience. Pair it with a round of golf, and you've got yourself a day worth remembering... or at the very least, a miserable morning-after with a vague impression you had a great time.
We'll start our trail where it all started, in the Land of Illusion... Hollywood. From there we'll work our way north, then east through the heartland and finish up on the East Coast. (P.S. If you actually have the time and money to put something like this together, please email me... I wanna go along! Or, as always, piece it together in smaller trips or during other travels.)
The History of the Tiki Bar (from TikiBar.com)
"The origin of tiki bars date back shortly before World War I. Travel by ship and airplane was finally becoming affordable for people other than the extremely wealthy in America and Europe. So began the "Golden Age of Travel." Taking a vacation to an exotic island in the "South Seas" became a status symbol. Soon, new nightclubs and bars began to open throughout the America, especially in southern California. They all had one thing in common capitalizing on this new trend: a South Seas island theme. The Beginning of a Trend The first tiki bar is largely accepted to have been Hollywood's "Don the Beachcomber Restaurant." Donn Beach, who had renamed himself such in 1934 after previously being known as Earnest Raymond Beaumont Gantt, started with the popular beach theme, decorating his restaurant and bar with nets, starfish, and shells. When Donn Beach decided to add real artifacts to his tiki decor (such as diving masks, spears, and most importantly carved idols from a variety of islands), his restaurant became different from all of the other island-themed establishments. This was the first introduction of the tiki to the bar. Soon, many other bars began to follow the lead of "Don the Beachcomber." Art and artifacts from almost any tropical island, from Hawaii and New Guinea to New Zealand and Easter Island, was brought in to decorate the tiki bars and create an environment of escapism. Anything exotic and an ocean-themed added to the mood. |
The Excitement Grows
World War II led to an even bigger tiki bar craze in the United States. American G.I.s that had actually spent time in the South Pacific headed to Don's and other tiki bars in masses when they returned home from duty.
It was about this time that Hawaii became a state, and this further fueled the trend. Americans fell in love with the romanticized idea of a warm tropical paradise. Almost every city in America had at least one tiki bar.
Tiki becomes a Culture
Not all the proprietors of these new tiki bars could acquire, or afford, authentic artifacts from exotic islands to decorate their establishments. Companies began to open that specialized in carved tikis and other reproduction island artifacts.
Many popular tropical drinks, such as the famous tiki bar Trader Vic's Mai Tai, were originally created in bars as business owners looked for ways to expand on the popular theme. Don Beach was credited with inventing 84 drinks. The many island cultures all were blended and overlapped until they became one fantasy culture that didn'teven exist in reality
Just like that, tiki bars had been formed. Since then, bamboo tiki bars have found a permanent place in American nightlife as a fun escape to paradise, even if only for a night."
From QuesTiki.com: "Tiki popularity was hitting its zenith with Hawaii becoming a state, in 1959, and marked by some very bad Elvis movies. Tiki bars had moved into people's homes along with scowling Tiki gods. Attractions like Disney's Enchanted Tiki room where drawing thousands, Tiki had become a cultural powerhouse. So why were the tiki gods still angry?
End of the Golden Age: Tiki Dusk
By the early 1970's over-exposure had began to make Tiki cliché or kitsch. Plastic hula dolls and mass production had caused a lameness to settle over the former savageness of the Tiki gods. The generation that had originally gone wild over Tiki culture had grown older. Even worse, younger Americans came to see tiki as an insensitive diversion from America's serious problems. Sitting around a vacation-like nightclub while others fought in Vietnam struck a sore cord. The great age of Tiki had passed. All but a very few of the once plentifully and mighty Tiki bars turned into regular Chinese restraunts or simply closed their doors. Then, to add insult to injury, disco nightclubs where springing up across America... poor tiki gods.
Rebirth of Tiki: Tiki Dawn II, Revenge of the Tiki Gods!
Starting in the late 1980's all things retro came back in vogue. Vintage clothing, cars and tiki, of course. A new generation had discovered the power of the savage tiki gods. Tiki's rebirth was more complex then that though. Older people from the original tiki boom got back into it and middle aged citizens became nostalgic for the tiki bars and tiki parties their parents had when they where young. Others believe that the postmodern movement has blurred the lines between eras, allowing people to grab ideas from any times or culture. A new crop of tiki carvers has arisen as well, more concerned about tiki history and meaning then what modern art critiques consider being proper fine art. Still others may just need an escape from the demands of our technologically advanced times, desiring to feel at one with man's inner tribal roots. Tiki seems to be an umbilical cord through time that often comes with rum. Whatever the reason though, tiki has returned. Artists are carving tiki statues, collectors are collecting and tiki bars are reopening in every major city. Some of the new tiki bars are as grand as the tiki lounges of old. A tiki bar in San Francisco even features thundershowers every twenty minutes and a band playing on a raft stage in the middle of a pool. Tiki is on the rise in America, Britain and indeed across the world. Yet, the Tiki Gods are still generally an angry lot. It seems their scowling disposition assures they will never be forgotten!"
Here's a nice 1 minute video history of the tiki bar from the New York Times: www.nytimes.com/packages/html/dining/20071128_TIKI_FEATURE/#
The Bars:
The only surviving location of the originator of the tiki bar concept in the contiguous 48 states is Don The Beachcomber's (www.donthebeachcomber.com) in Huntingdon Beach CA (there's also one in Hawaii).
There's not a particular style of golf course that leaps to mind as a natural match to a pre-tiki-bar round, so I'm going with recommending golf courses where you wouldn't feel out of place wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Duffy Waldorf would be proud.
Duffy grew up playing the Wilson and Harding courses at Griffith Park in L.A.. Old school golf. Duffy learned precision approach shots thanks to the Wilson course's 416-yard par-4 2nd. If you can't stick it, the ball will bounce off the green and back against the fence.
After a round at Griffith Park, hit the Tiki-Ti Room on Sunset for a groovy little shack serving froufrou frozen concoctions. Playboy digs this real deal old school tiki bar, still going strong after opening back in 1961. After wading through the 80-drink cocktail menu, shout "Toro! Toro! Toro!" with the crowd, and the booze will flow into the house specialty drink, Ray's Mistake aka Blood & Sand. Tiki-Ti is extremely small (just 12 barstools and a small handful of tables), and is incredibly popular -- if you don't like crowds, be sure to get there right as it opens, preferably on a Wednesday. Be sure to bring plenty cash -- they don't accept credit cards. Rated among the Top 5 tiki bars in the country by Critiki.com.
Trader Vic's also opened a new L.A. location in 2009, but it's a little modern and upscale to capture the real 1960's vibe still featured by many of the other bars listed here.
Bahooka Ribs & Grog (www.geocities.com/bahookarestaurant/) in Rosemead CA. "Bahooka is lit quite dimly, which contributes to its labyrinthine feel. Aquariums are everywhere -- over 100. The decor could perhaps be described as more nautical than truly tiki, with many items salvaged from a Navy scrap yard in Long Beach, but tikis can be found throughout Bahooka. They'll make any drink a flaming drink -- even non-alcoholic ones. Near the entrance is an aquarium holding a rather large fish, a Pacu named Rufus, who eats carrot sticks. Bahooka was featured briefly in the film Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas."
In Long Beach, Puka Bar "opened in February 2006, at the location of the former K B Club in Long Beach. Crazy Al Evans worked on some of the interiors, including carved tapa designs on the bar edge."
For more legit tiki surroundings and a true Polynesian vibe, hop a flight to Honolulu. Maxim's Great American Bar Search digs La Mariana Sailing Club. "This boozy hideaway is Hawaii’s last classic tiki bar, a legendary spot opened in 1957. Be sure to get the Lava Flow, a piña colada, strawberry daiquiri combo so good it’ll make you weep into your tiny guitar."
Play a Lava-Flow-soaked round at oceanfront 9-holer Kahuka GC. At $10 greens fees, this is the best value beach golf in the country. Consider that just next door, rounds at the Turtle Bay Resort are $160-$195. [Golf Digest]
Back on the mainland, we head north on Pacific Coast Highway for one of the most spectacular drives in the country, and one sure to put you in a tiki-fied mood (see Fat Guy's PCH Golf Trip) for the last real bastion of the old-school tiki bar, San Francisco.
On your way up PCH, be sure to stop at an unexpected haven for fine tiki drinks, Hula’s Island Grill in Monterey. The space is warm, lined with lauhala matting and filled with carvings, floats and tapa lamps.
Pair a round at Pacific Grove GL with a post-round visit to the Hula. T&L Golf says of PCGL, "The 'Poor Man's Pebble' by the same design team has a tight parkland front through homes and cypress woods. The links-style back runs dramatically out to the Pacific at Point Pinos. Sandy fairways, tiny dune-flanked greens, and the truest links on the Peninsula despite being only 5732 from the tips."
There are at least 4 tiki bars in San Fran worth visiting. The Emeryville Trader Vic's location is near the now-gone original Oakland location, and is the company's flagship restaurant. It's positioned near the end of a spit in San Francisco Bay, and has beautiful views. The dining room has tall, elegant stylized artificial palm trees, and tikis are everywhere here.
Or try the Tonga Room Tiki Bar in the basement of the upscale Fairmont Hotel. The space has gone through several incarnations over the years, themed initially as a cruise ship (the S.S. Tonga), then a Chinese restaurant, then finally the current theme of a Polynesian paradise. Before becoming a restaurant, the space was the hotel's swimming pool. The room is unusual -- at the center of the restaurant is the remnant of the room's swimming pool past: a water-filled lagoon with a small ship in the middle where bands play. Every thirty minutes a thunderstorm erupts, and rain falls into the pool. The Happy Hour at the Tonga Room, which goes from 5-7pm Monday-Friday, is quite popular and can get very crowded.
Tonga Room 
Or hit Forbidden Island Tiki Lounge on the island of Alameda, a new tiki bar with the look and feel of a classic old tiki lounge. The bartenders are alums of Trader Vic's, and their experience shows. Forbidden Island has a unique commitment to quality, with only fresh-squeezed juices and premium spirits used -- even the maraschino cherries are homemade with natural ingredients. The drink menu features no less than 38 different tropical cocktails -- a mix of classics such as the Sidewinder's Fang and the Zombie, and new creations like the China Clipper and the Fugu for Two. The decor is filled with many layered details, with an abundance of bamboo and thatch, and the walls are lined with wood, giving the appearance of the inside of a ship. There are three hut-like booths, and a long bar with comfortable seating. A rear patio is open until 9 p.m., and has a lush tropical feel. Music on the jukebox is predominantly pre-1964, and was specially selected to fit in the vintage lounge environment, with no shortage of Exotica available. A small selection of snack food is available.
Smuggler's Cove is a new San Fran area tiki bar that opened in 2009. Critiki.com says, "Smuggler's Cove specializes in all varieties of rum and rum drinks, with a particular emphasis on historic and exotic cocktails. The offerings can be overwhelming in scope: over 200 rums, and more than 75 cocktails. The owner has attracted some of the top bartender talent in the talent-rich city of San Francisco. The decor is a blend of nautical and tiki. The bar spans three floors: the main and lower levels each have their own bars, and an upper half-level is a tiki hut that overlooks the main floor. There is a waterfall between the main floor and the lower floor, with a small pool at the bottom."
Nothing is cheap in the Bay area, as evidenced by the golf mag's constant trumpeting of Harding Park muni as a good deal (at $105 greens fees for out-of-towners) just because it's right next door to the Olympic Club. To feel completely at home in your Hawaiian shirt, tee it up at Lincoln Park GC. Johnny Miller grew up playing this short, hilly old school course built in 1913. It isn't the best course in San Fran, but it's a good value recommendation with views of the Golden Gate Bridge and the Presidio, and it's far from a torturous round if your game has been failing of late.
From San Fran, continue up the PCH to Portland OR. Playboy recommends Portland's Alibi Tiki Bar as one that belonged in Swingers. Order a Scorpion (OJ & rum concoction) or a Singapore Sling.
Critiki.com recommends the Trilogy Of Tiki in Portland: Try the newest of the breed, Thatch in northeast Portland, the #3 rated tiki bar in the country. Thatch features a sunken bar, booths rescued from a nearby diner, and lots of bamboo and thatch. Or The Alibi, has frequent karaoke and weak, sweet drinks. Stay at the tiki-fied Palms Motor Hotel across the street. And finally, The Monkey Hut In Exile has seagrass-lined walls and classic Polynesian pop artwork illuminated by a collection of beachcomber lamps, and the owners are passionate about historic and historically-inspired tiki cocktails with fresh ingredients.
Take your pick of two great value Portland tracks... T&L Golf likes the Oregon Golf Association Golf Course (Woodburn OR; $48, 503-981-6105) features immaculate bent grass that carpets the greens of this impeccable muni, creating some of the most delectable putting surfaces in the area. Close to the Portland airport, Robert Trent Jones Jr.'s Heron Lakes Great Blue course (Portland; $21–$40, 503-289-1818) is a Scottish-style, largely open, treeless layout emphasizing the "risk" in risk-reward.
From here we'll jog southeast to Vegas. Vegas is another town where you would think that tiki bars had never quite gone out of style, since it was stuck in various stages of it's own time warp from the mid-'60's until the '90's. Unfortunately, none of the old school Polynesian-themed bars lasted that long in a town that now has to keep up with the latest marketing themes. Modern-day tiki in Vegas drags to mind the scene in Swingers where Mike and Trent meet Dorothy and the cocktail waitress, which was originally written for the now-defunct Landlubbers Lounge at Treasure Island, which was then replaced by the also-now-defunct Parlay Lounge. Treasure Island doesn't even have a tiki bar anymore, so leave the Strip behind and head for the authentic Frankie's Tiki Room (www.frankiestikiroom.com). Frankie's is small and a bit of a hike from the Strip, but it's the genuine article, the house drink is The Zombie, and it's open 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Finally, Trader Vic's has finally brought their famous tiki-fied vibe and perfect Mai Tai's to Vegas (www.tradervicslv.com). And it's not my fault if you end up in a trailer park by sunrise.
Vegas golf isn't cheap either. Growing plush fairways in the Nevada desert takes plenty of pricey-in-the-desert water, and the average '08 rack rate greens fee in Vegas was $140. Although, you probably wouldn't look out of place in a Tommy Bahama shirt anywhere in this town. For a round off the beaten path at a place you've never heard of, try the relative value at Rhodes Ranch ($75-$150). Palm Srings oasis style, waterfalls, and tropical touches.
From Vegas it's on to Scottsdale. To fully immerse yourself in the modernist vibe of the Scottsdale Trader Vic's, book a room at the Hotel Valley Ho (www.hotelvalleyho.com) where it's located. Fat Guy isn't normally one to recommend some high-falootin' hotel, but this joint is cool enough to be worth the dough. Originally built in 1956, Hotel Valley Ho became a hotspot for the jet set… Bogart, Monroe, Durante, Crosby.
This landmark has been reborn in downtown Scottsdale, capturing the classic mid-century design with a new urban setting. Rooms feature terrazzo tile baths with translucent walls, 32" flat-screen HD LCD TV, and WiFi. Cabana rooms offer curtained patios overlooking the pool and Oh Pool Bar.
Trader Vic's is brand new on-site, a Polynesian classic reborn with Valley Ho flair. Order the house specialty Mai Tais.
And Hotel Valley Ho can be a decent value. Summertime rates for a standard King room are as low as $99/night and range up to $199/night during high season (suites scale up from there).
Your wallet will be feeling it between a night of Mai Tai's at Vic's and covering the room tab at Valley Ho, and now you're right smack in the epicenter of high-end desert golf. All the golf mags tout the value at Papago Muni ($38/$49, www.phoenix.gov/sports/papago.html), short on frills, long on value. Not quite Bethpage or Torrey Pines as munis go, but certainly in the next tier. The rolling, traditional layout features ancient stone Papago buttes as backdrops. For other Phoenix good value courses, try Sanctuary Course @ WestWorld, an Audubon-certified desert target design ($45 ride after 2PM, weekday walk $71). T&L Golf likes Apache Stronghold's San Carlos course ($55, Tom Doak, www.golfapache.com), worth the hour's drive from Phoenix, memorable green complexes, mountain vistas, hotel-casino next door. Keep in mind, some of the best value greens fees are during summer in the heat of the day (if you can stand it, bring the SPF 50, plenty of water, and make sure it's a white Hawaiian shirt today; it's friggin' hot out there). I only paid a whopping $36 to play nearby at The Phoenician's sporty Desert & Canyon 9's on a still-boiling mid-afternoon twilight rate in July '03. The Desert/Canyon pairing features fun canyon-drop par-3's from clifftop tees, good conditions, and a 131 slope.
Let's get out of this heat already, and head north, to Milwaukee of all places. Per Critiki, "Milwuakee's Foundation began as a punk bar, and around 2004 began a conversion into a punk tiki bar at the prompting of manager Don Nelson. Today the bar is full of tikis, many carved by local tiki artist Lake Tiki. The menu is full of traditional and modern tropical drinks, served in tiki mugs. The Foundation has the best Mai Tais in Wisconsin. No, scratch that. The Midwest. Hand-made while you wait like they should be. No pre-mix here. Amazing decor with attention to the little things like the frames around the pictures and the moulding around the doors. Plus, how did they get candles in the pufferfish lamps? Anyone can throw tikis on a bar and call it a Tiki Bar but when you step into Foundation, you'll know the real thing. The music is the best I've heard in any Tiki Bar as well. Once again the attention to detail sets this place apart. Tiki music mixed with Surf and Lounge heightens the atmosphere."
Milwaukee doesn't spring to mind as a golf mecca, but the PGA Tour has had a stop here for years. You can even play the course the Tour pros play on, Brown Deer Golf Club for less than $100 (www.browndeergolfclub.org, $89 or as low as $44 with local discount card). Brown Deer is perhaps best known as the venue where Tiger Woods made his professional debut. Opened in 1929, it’s an old-fashioned parkland design with tree-lined fairways and thick rough.
From Scottsdale it's on to Tucson, where you'll find the Kon Tiki Lounge. "A classic original tiki bar open since 1961, the Kon Tiki Lounge has seen modern-day Tucson grow up around it on all sides. It is tucked back a bit on its busy street, surrounded by strip malls and small office buildings. The small-looking building feels a bit out-of-place. There is an almost lush little garden area out front, with tikis and a small "water feature" -- Tucson's arid climate wouldn't easily support a pond, so a tiled mosaic pond is in its place, with a small walkable bridge over it. To the left of the building is a great old Milan Guanko tiki.
Inside, the restaurant is dark and mysterious, with no windows, and much of the original decor still in place (if perhaps a bit dusty). An aviary behind the bar is a jarring flash of light -- it used to house parrots, but now is a lizard cage, and is sadly too garish for the environs. However, the rest of the place is fantastic. Large bamboo, gorgeous light fixtures, and tikis aplenty are throughout. The room is structured with smaller sub-rooms encased by bamboo and thatch dividers, giving a feeling of coziness and mystery.
The menus are standard fare for an old tiki bar -- barbecue ribs & simlar items for food, and lots of tropical drinks (though a bit on the sweet & sugary side compared to many classic tiki cocktails).
Today, the Kon Tiki's future continues to look very bright. It has been kept open through the years with a never-ending supply of college kids who love the place and keep it packed on weekends. These people are who we have to thank for keeping the place alive, but it's a bit more enjoyable when visited earlier in the day or on a weeknight, when the music is more in keeping with the environs and the place isn't so packed with bodies that the decor can't be seen." [Critiki.com]
There's also plenty of pricey desert golf in Tuscon, but for a good value, T&L Golf digs Dell Urich (www.tucsoncitygolf.com/urich; $41/$51 cart). This 6,633-yard par-seventy Ken Kavanaugh course sports undulating fairways and greens and a watery par-three seventeenth hole that can make or break a round. The modest greens fee is a huge bargain—albeit with muni facilities—as Dell Urich and its sister course, Randolph North, are the pulse of Tucson golf.
Now head for Chicago, a Midwestern mini-mecca for tiki bars. Playboy digs Hala Kahiki tiki bar (River Grove), a romantic classic since 1966. Critiki.com says, "Hala Kahiki was opened in 1966 by Stanley and Rose Sacharski when they decided they wanted to get out of the funeral home business, and is still run by their family. Tucked away in a quiet suburb, Hala Kahiki is a beautiful classic tiki bar. The layout is sprawling but feels subdued and intimate. Witco carvings are featured heavily throughout the dimly-lit bar. The extensive drink menu tends toward the sweet and low-octane... consider bringing a flask to perk your drinks up a bit. The gift shop is large and includes a section of vintage clothing."
Humuhumu.com says you can still get well-crafted tiki drinks at Chef Shangri-La, just outside of Chicago.
Trader Vic's opened a new Chicago location in late 2008, on the ground level of the Newberry Plaza Building. This new location uses much of the decor from the old Chicago Trader Vic's, which was in the Palmer House Hilton until it lost its lease in 2005.
The Windy City is also a great spot for public golf. The first course that jumps to mind for a tee time will be Cog Hill #4 Dubsdread, where the PGA Tour plays. I've played it and it's a great, long, classic course in great shape, but the greens fees are $155. For a better value, head for T&L Golf fave Oak Meadows G.C. (900 N. Wood Dale Road, Addison; 630-595-0071; $46-$51) is the former Elmhurst C.C. Built in the 1920s, it was the site of Ben Hogan's 1942 win in the Chicago Open. The county's Forest Preserve bought the property in the 1980s and converted it to a municipal course.
Through the heartland we go to Fat Guy's stomping grounds outside Philadelphia. While maybe not quite tikified enough to make a purist's list, there's a great little spot named simply the Tiki Bar in Boyertown, PA. This self-proclaimed "Island-theme restaurant on the ragin' Manatawney River" is a unique experience out in the middle of nowhere. Proprietor Jim Finegan is well-travelled and well-partied, and he modeled Tiki Bar after the great bars of the world in places like the Carribean, New Orleans, and Key West. It pulls off that "been there forever" feel with discarded knick-nacks in every corner and vacation postcards from regulars adorning the walls. You'll see Philly suburbanites dressed in Tommy Bahama next to mulleted Nascar-fan locals, but all of them managing to get into the laid-back island mindset.
Steaks, kabobs, wings, fish, clams, salads, etc. are sold raw and ala carte from a deli case. From there it's cook your own on the large open grills that dominate the dining room and patio, with sauces, spices, and marinades at the ready. Try the spicy cajun steak, it's outstanding. Douse it in hot sauce and grill it on a hot spot.
Extremely friendly and energetic staff. Outdoor bar and dining area on the river features a grill and bonfire pit, riverfront seating, lush vegetation, is surprisingly bug-free, and sees up to 150 people during Summer. With a soundtrack ofJimmy Buffet and a hip, eclectic collection of obscure modern jazz, blues, swing, and soul, the Hurricane as the house drink, and beads on sale at 4-for-a-Buck, you can see how this place can get pretty crazy.
3 Warnings: You will very likely get lost trying to find this place, but it's a Must Find. You will likely end up HAMMERED way out here in the middle of nowhere, so plan ahead with a designated driver. And get there early and eat a snack before you go, especially on weekends; it's popular despite it's remote location. So much so that they valet park (free) out of necessity despite a large lot, and cars often queue up on the road, waiting for spots to open up. Table wait times can exceed an hour when it's hoppin'. The experience is worth the hassle. It does empty out semi-early despite the crowds.
Nearby the Tiki Bar is Arrowhead GC in Douglasville PA. Arrowhead is a cheap round and a complete time warp back to the early '60's when you walk in the clubhouse/snack bar, and my favorite touch is a sign nailed to an oak tree out front which says, "Please Do Not Take Acorns." Definitely a mom & pop operation, and overall this thing is not the best course in the land. Three 9's, Red/White is best combo. Maintenance is decent-to-borderline, fairways are cut long. When it's Path Only the carts have these weird regulators that sound an alarm and shut the cart down when you get off the path (yes, it's walkable). HOWEVER, for the price, it has 4 of the toughest finishing holes I've played: #15 245-yard uphill par-3, nearly impossible to reach, let alone par. #16 tight down-and-up par-4 hurtling down into narrowing woods with a brutally sloped green, almost a guaranteed 3-putt. #17 might be the tightest hole I've ever played (keep your jokes to yourself), MUST hit a 185-200 yard draw to a landing area between a creek and a bank that's only about 30 yards wide, then hit an approach through a similar area over the creek to a small green. I made 10 on this hole once. #18 is a straightforward par-4 with a well-bunkered green and OB left, a welcome sigh of relief after that brutal stretch. The 14 holes of ho-hum are nearly worth the wait for the finish and a trip to Tiki Bar.
Now bust it on down I-95 to Charleston. Maxim named Charleston's Voodoo Tiki Bar & Lounge (www.voodootikibar.com) one of their faves. "Drinks for sharing, a dizzying tequila menu, and weird Hawaiian-inspired food like teriyaki Spam kabobs? Sounds barfproof to us."
Golf Magazine's Travelin' Joe says play at Charleston's best golf bargain, the Links at Stono Ferry. "A Ron Garl design that's sprinkled with relics from the Revolutionary War. An appealing, if unmemorable front nine twists through the forests, but things heat up on the back nine, owing to a handful of scenic holes along the Intracoastal Waterway. The all-carry, 159-yard par-3 14th and the 343-yard, par-4 18th, with its new island green, are standouts."
You wouldn't think that New-South-personified Atlanta would host any good tiki bars, but ATL's Trader Vic's location is one of the chain's most highly-rated. "The Atlanta Trader Vic's is in the basement level of the Hilton Hotel downtown. The young head bartender, Joel, is a very fine craftsman of all the traditional drinks, and was voted Best Bartender in Atlanta in 2004. This Trader Vic's is my personal favorite, and is the only one of the Trader Vic's locations in the United States today that has not been updated in a way that removes some of the original charm. One Saturday a month, Tiki Kiliki hosts a wildly popular tiki-themed evening here, with music and performers, called Tiki Torch Nights," says Critiki.
Tee it up at Stone Mountain GC (Stonemont & Lakemont), www.stonemountaingolf.com, 30 minutes from Trader Vic's. T&L Golf says, "Two distinct courses offer great views of Stone Mountain." ('03 Fees: M-R $55, F-Sun $69, $50/$53/$60 twilight @ 15:00).
Down in Daytona Beach, Critiki.com likes The Green Turtle (part of the Hawaiian Inn). Teauila's (pronounced like "tequila" would sound if the 'q' was silent) Hawaiian Luau Dinner Show takes place here four nights a week. The dinner show is a package deal, including the entertainment and a chinese-food buffet; tropical drinks are extra. The room is a little heavy on black lights, but the show features a full band, male and female hula dancers, and dramatic use of fire.
Near Daytona, Golf Magazine likes Halifax Plantation Golf Club (7,101 yards, par 72; Greens fee: $65, 386-676-9600; www.halifaxplantation.com). The fairways here are flatter than the Speedway racetrack -- and almost as firm -- but are mostly free of water and sand. You'll need to oil your putter for the spin around these large and severely sloping greens.
In Orlando, a Must Stay is "Disney's Polynesian Resort, originally Disney's Polynesian Village Resort ("Village" was dropped from the name in 1985), is one of the high-end places to stay on property at Walt Disney World, just outside of Orlando. The resort is near the Magic Kingdom (Walt Disney World's analogue of Disneyland), and is situated on the Seven Seas Lagoon. It opened on October 1, 1971, the same day Walt Disney World opened.
The hotel is a sprawling complex, with 11 "longhouse" buildings named for Polynesian islands such as Rarotonga, Tahiti, Hawaii and Rapa Nui. Each building is two or three stories tall, and houses dozens of guest rooms; in all, the resort has 847 rooms. The heart of the hotel is the Great Ceremonial House, a massive two-level building that holds the hotel's reception desk, several stores and cafes, and 'Ohana restaurant.
'Ohana restaurant, and its adjacent Tambu Lounge, are on the upper level of the Great Ceremonial House. The restaurant is an all-you-can-eat affair, with great spears of meats brought around to your table for you to choose from regularly, and a pu-pu platter brought to your table to kick things off. There are activities for children, and it can get pretty loud. Tropical drinks are available, including one served in a pineapple, and a Tropical Itch, which comes with a backscratcher. There is a dinner-show luau performed regularly at the resort, called the Spirit of Aloha Show.
The hotel's pool area is small, but a looming volcano with built-in water slide gives it some oomph." [Critiki.com]
If you're staying at the Polynesian Resort inside DisneyWorld, the easy temptation will be to book at tee time at one of the Disney courses. But due to the built-in audience and easy access, they see alot of rounds, which translates into slow play and sometimes-questionable conditions and value for the upscale greens fees. Instead, make the short drive to Falcon's Fire in Kissimee, with Rees Jones' characteristic mounding and waste bunkering. A great value on the weekday greens fee with generous Bermuda fairways surrounded by 160 Tour-quality bunkers, but the greens were bouncy, furry, and slow when I played it in late June '09.
On the west coast in Tampa, TampaBay.com recommends Jack Willie’s Tiki Bar (1011 St. Petersburg Drive, Oldsmar; (813) 854-1972, www.jackwilliestikibar.com). "A tiki bar that’s not on the beach? Perfect if you live in Oldsmar and feel like seeking out the saltwater-weathered wood bars. Slathered in baseball memorabilia (particularly from the Yankees), Jack Willie’s serves a mean rum drink, the Big Bamboo, that’s best enjoyed on its outdoor patio, maybe even at the boat-shaped bar beneath the thatched tiki roof, while a blues guitarist wails in the background. Just watch that an egret doesn’t make off with your grub."
Work up a thirst at Tampa's best value, Westchase GC. By far, the best golfing value I've ever stumbled across. For a $22 weekday twilight rate ('03), I got 15 holes of tough golf on a well-manicured target swampland course, GPS at no extra charge (invaluable with numerous bunkers and blind swamp areas), a gorgeous brand new clubhouse, cute beer cart grrls, a water driving range with floating balls, and 12 holes with nobody in front of me. Even at the $64 weekend rate, it's a much better value than most of the courses I see regularly in Philly. Nearly on same level as TPC Tampa Bay without the $150 greens fees. Routed through a development of $500K homes. Lots of water, O.B., "Don't Hunt" swamp hazards (due to snakes and gators, but we didn't see any), and long cart bridges through the wet stuff. Bring plenty of ammo, I lost 10 here. Found this one via recommendation from the hotel valet. Highly recommended, great value.
Here in the heart of Spring Training country is another great tiki spot. Esquire named The Bahi Hut Lounge in Sarasota as one of the best bars in America. "The Bahi's mai tais ($6) are legendary along Florida's Gulf Coast -- a rite of passage for locals turning 21, recent transplants, and curious tourists. The beige, sauna-sized, cinder-block confines -- connected to a very modern Best Western Inn and surrounded by lush palms -- might be a bit off-putting. But as far as Florida tiki bars go, this fifty-three-year-old hut is as authentic as it gets. At the horseshoe-shaped bar under the surfboard you'll meet a husky, bearded bartender. Ask for one mai tai. Enjoy. Wait a spell and let it settle before your next. They're potent." Also worth a mention is O'Leary's Tiki Bar & Grill in Sarasota.
Play Longboat Key C&R Harbourside Course ($85-$140, Sarasota, 888-237-5545, www.longboatkeyclub.com, William Byrd) has five 9s end-to-end on a bayside spit. Harbourside is the more memorable routing of Longboat Key's two courses, after a 2004 Ron Garl makeover. Peninsula greens and lovely stands of fig, pine, and palm trees abound.
We'll go out with a bang at perhaps the last surviving example of the grand tiki bars still operating from when tiki was at it's peak. Playboy recommends Mai Kai Tiki Bar in Ft. Lauderdale. "Opened in 1956, the Mai Kai is a spectacular Polynesian paradise. Look for an extensive dinner menu, amazing drinks, gorgeous cocktail servers in really short sarongs and bikini tops, a full floor show (featuring stunning hula girls, fire-knife dancers and a full band), authentic oceanic carvings everywhere you can point your eyeballs, and architecture that will make you forget you're on the mainland. Although places like the Mai Kai could be found in every major city in the Fifties and Sixties, nothing else currently exists on this scale. With the loss of the Kahiki in Ohio a few years ago, the Mai Kai survives as the only remaining example of its genre." Worth the trip from wherever you are right now.
Humuhumu.com says, "The Mai Kai in Ft. Lauderdale is cocktail heaven. It's also perhaps the last of the grand Polynesian palaces still operating from when tiki was at its peak in the late '50s and early '60s. That the Mai-Kai not only still exists today, but is vibrant and thriving, is something we should all be very grateful for--but not take for granted.
The Mai-Kai was opened in 1956 by two brothers from Chicago, Bob and Jack Thornton, in an age when roadside attractions were springing up all over Florida; eventually Bob took over the business. Like many of these attractions, the Mai-Kai grew over time to be quite a spectacle--it includes eight dining rooms, a bar that on its own would stand as perhaps the best tiki bar in the world, tropical gardens with walking paths and waterfalls, a stage in the center to showcase the Polynesian floor show, and of course, a gift shop.
Today, experiencing the Mai-Kai is much as it was in the '60s. The experience begins as you listen to the wooden slat bridge you drive over to reach the porte cochere and valets. As you enter the restaurant, you are greeted by an elegant maitre'd. Be sure to bring some singles when you visit the restroom, as the bathroom has attendants on hand to assist you.
The enchanting nature of the female form is something that is celebrated throughout Polynesian pop, but perhaps nowhere quite so extensively as the Mai-Kai. The beautiful waitresses to this day are attired in bikini tops and wraparound sarongs. For many years, a Mai-Kai calendar was offered featuring the many beautiful women of the Mai-Kai. This worship reaches its zenith with the Mystery Drink, delivered by the Mystery Girl, an experience that must be witnessed to be fully appreciated."
In Ft. Lauderdale, play at Inverrary CC. Golf.com says, "This club has two outstanding eighteen hole regulation courses designed in 1971 by Robert Trent Jones, Sr. The East Course was host to the Jackie Gleason Tournament and an LPGA event in 1991 and 1992. The East Course is wide open and longer than the West Course. However, the West Course's greens are all elevated and there are many more sand bunkers that can alter your shots."
Done. Head back to wherever you're from and check yourself into rehab after all that time on the road drinking nothing but tiki drinks.
Know a great tiki bar? Send it to me at the Contact Fat Guy link below, and I'll add it to the list.
[Fat Guy Note: I have not taken this trip or explored most of these courses/locations. As always, proper research and reservations are required. I'm just the idea guy on this one.]