Fat Guy's Route 66 Golf Road Trip - Fat Guy's Guide to Golf, Beer, Wings, and Life

Fat Guy's Route 66 Golf Road Trip

By the sounds of a 2008 Golf Digest article on Route 66 golf trips (www.golfdigest.com/courses/destination/features/route66_0508), Fat Guy had a vaguely unique idea when I did a golf road trip across The Mother Road back in the late '90's. I had been looking for a new golf adventure a year after my trip to Scotland with my grandfather, and wanted it to be something more than just some boys' weekend in Myrtle. At the same time, I was reading Steinbeck's Grapes Of Wrath, and got enamored with the idea of driving across Route 66 someday. Somehow the two concepts intersected in my head.

For those who wouldn't mind mixing their golf with some Americana nostalgia, here's 2 sample itineraries for a Route 66 golfing road trip, based on my adventure, along with other research:

Pre-Trip Tips:

1. Now that you've read the GD article above, here's why very few people do this trip:

Realize that Route 66 from Chicago to the Santa Monica pier is 2106 miles. If you're planning on driving it end to end, playing golf most days, and taking in some Mother Road nostalgia, it takes two weeks to do this trip right. Anything less, and it'll end up feeling like you're just gunning the rental car for 6 or 8 hours in between tee times, and you'll be tempted to skip large and potentially interesting sections of the old road in favor of the Interstate in the interest of time. Two weeks should give you plenty of time to take in the sights of Route 66, do small half-day tours, chat with locals, and have a couple days where you don't have a pre-set tee time you're running to. 10 days would be the absolute minimum.

Finding a foursome of serious golf road trippers who can spare two weeks away from family and work, plus about $5 grand for flights, rental car, tee times and expenses, will be the toughest part of planning this thing. I was in my late 20's when I did it, and most of my friends were already married and starting to have kids. I couldn't even talk my last single golf buddy into it, so I ended up doing it solo. I'm an only child of two only children, so I could handle all the alone time. Even though it was fun, after 2 weeks spent largely alone with nothing but my own thoughts for hours on the open road, I can assure you this would be more enjoyable with a buddy or three along for the ride. I'd never make it as a long-haul trucker.

The other trade-off here is in the opportunity cost; given $5,000 and 2 weeks off, most golfers would think, "I could finally get to Bandon and/or Pebble with that kind of money and time," or they'd rather head to St. Andrew's in Scotland, or Ireland on that kind of cash and vacation time. Most budget-minded middle-income family guys' first thought would probably be, "Jeezus, $5 grand and 14 days; that's 4 or 5 years worth of high-end long weekends in Myrtle! (until the angel on your right shoulder says, "No, dear, that $5,000 needs to go in the college fund.") If you're not at least temporarily liquid and already Route 66 obsessed, I would imagine 9 out of 10 golfers would prefer to spend their golf vacation dollars and time on classic destinations a little higher on the bucket list. If you're the 1 out of 10, read on.

2. Two weeks in the car with anybody, even (or especially) your wife, can be challenging. If you can pull this trip off as a twosome or a four, make sure your trip buddy(s) are guys or gals you have enough history with to know if your friendship can stand two solid weeks of 4-6 hours a day in the car and another 5 in a golf cart, with nothing but bad radio, bad swings, and your own thoughts. With all the road time involved, this isn't really a boozer's party kinda trip. Even moreso than a week's golf sojourn to Scotland or Ireland, there's a genuine risk that if things get testy on the road, you may never speak to one or more of these friends after the trip's over. So you might want to skip inviting that friend who feels the need to fill every silence with stories you've already heard 8 times, that control freak friend who will want to plan every stop, that tempramental buddy who steams over a bad round for hours, or that one dude everybody knows who can't have 5 beers without wanting to get in a bar fight.

3. A must for this trip is renting a convertible. Depending on what time of year you depart Chicago, convertible rental cars may be hard to come by, particularly for a one-way rental. Make rental car reservations well in advance, and confirm availability of the car you reserved at least twice, starting a few days prior to departure. Obviously any L.A.-based west-to-east departures will have an easier time with finding a rag-top.

4. Road Tunes: For those stetches of radio wasteland from Texas to Arizona, bring your MP3 player (and charger) loaded for bear, and make up a few road trip playlists. For SIRIUS/XM enthusiasts, I'd check with your provider about satellite signal strength in that same stretch.

Essential IPOD tunes for a Route 66 road trip: The Route 66 TV Show Theme, all variations of Get Your Kicks On Route 66 originally done by Bobby Troup (my personal favorite version is by Depeche Mode), Woodie Guthrie's Highway 66 Blues, some Sinatra for your Palm Springs swing, and a nice mix of Americana road tunes like Tom Petty's Runnin' Down A Dream, John Cougar Mellencamp, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Johnny Cash's I've Been Everywhere, ZZ Top, George Thorogood, etc. The University of Penn's radio station WXPN in my transplanted hometown of Philadelphia is among the top college and publicly-funded radio stations in the country, and they recently did a week-long road trip celebration with a countdown of the 885 Best Road Trip Songs. Check it out here.

5. As much as a rambling road trip among friends like this one begs for next-to-no itinerary, you'll find that despite recent preservation efforts, Route 66 nostalgia continues an annual decline that started in 1968… the year that five interstates took the place of the old road. Every year it seems a few more roadside 66 attractions fall victim to spotty tourism revenue, a bad economy, back taxes, or the death of the owners. And every year, the earth seems to take a couple more Old 66 ruins back to her fold. The expected kitschy stops and attractions can be few and far between during some stretches, so a well-planned itinerary is a must if you expect to get the full Route 66 experience (like, say, staying at the Wigwam Motel in Holbrook, AZ) in between tee times at your Must Play courses. Buy a solid Route 66 guidebook or two, and make sure they were published recently. One website I've used recommended the following guides:

Lonely Planet Road Trip: Route 66,
by Sara Benson

www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0760307474/roadtriamericare
Route 66,
by Tim Steil

Road Trip USA: Cross-Country Adventures on America's Two-Lane Highways,
by Jamie Jensen

There are also some great, easy-to-use Route 66 websites out there, such as:
www.roadtripamerica.com/links/route66.htm
www.theroadwanderer.net/route66.htm
www.historic66.com

A good bit of the info contained here came from those 3 websites.

6. When To Go: Any trips from late fall through mid-spring might find you in rain or snow from Chicago to Tulsa. Also keep in mind that high summer in the desert can be brutal both in the car and on the golf course. May, or mid-September to mid-October are probably the perfect times to balance out the wide range of weather you'll encounter, traveling from the lake winds of Illinois to the desert of Arizona.

Check out Route 66 events at http://rwarn17588.wordpress.com

7. Budget: Figure if you have a rental car that gets 25 MPH highway, at $3/gallon the gas alone will cost you $250-plus. A rental convertible for two weeks with one-way dropoff charge ~$1100-plus. Hotel rooms at $100/night x 13 nights = $1300. Say 11 rounds of golf averaging $75/round = $825. Food on the road @ $50/day = $700. Flights to Chicago and home from L.A., another, what, ~$800, depending on where you live? That's around $5,000 just to cover the basics, even before you add in the $40/day beer fund. Depending on how upscale or kitschy lowbrow you want to go with your course and lodging selections, you could easily double that on the upper end.

SAMPLE ITINERARY, ROUTE 66 LOW BROW KITSCH:

Chicago: Start at Grant Park for the official eastern terminus of Route 66 at Jackson & Michigan Streets.

Play: Cog Hill #4 Dubsdread (Lemont, IL). This Chicagoland muni has hosted The PGA Tour's Western Open (and other Tour event variations) for years. Long, tough, memorable, redone by Rees Jones in 2008, and worth the $ to play where the big boys play.

If budget is a bigger concern than course collecting, then hit Aldeen GC in Rockford IL. Ranked #23 in Golf Magazine's 2007 Thrifty 50 (Top 50 courses under $50). 7,131 yards, par 72; Greens fee: $39 and up, 888-425-3336, www.aldeengolfclub.com "With all of the acclaimed public courses in the Chicagoland area, you'd have to have rocks in your head to drive 85 miles to play golf, right? Yet Chicagoans do it all the time, to get a crack at the pride of Rockford, a Dick Nugent gem that compares favorably to his Kemper Lakes layout, for a quarter of the price. High-lipped bunkers, easy-to-lose-a-ball-in rough, scattered mounding and the 203-yard island green eighth add up to trouble for wayward hitters." The trade-off here is that Rockford is over 90 minutes to the northwest, while Route 66 heads SouthWest out of ChiTown. So that $70 or so you're saving on greens fees over Dubsdread will be partially offset by about $25 in extra gas. If you've got time to kill, go for it.

Near Abe Lincoln's house in Springfield, play at Piper Glen Golf Club, Springfield, Ill., 6,985 yards, par 72; Greens fee: $28 and up, 217-483-6537, www.piperglen.com Ranked #38, Golf Magazine's Thrifty 50 (Top 50 Courses under $50).

Stay: BudgetTravel.com recommends Heart O' Chicago Motel, in the Edgewater neighborhood, about nine miles north of the Loop, as one of a dying breed of retro motor lodges. The area can be traffic-heavy, mostly because of its main asset: a location within easy driving distance of several universities (Northwestern, DePaul, and Loyola) and the stores and restaurants of Little India. The rooms in this kitschy, two-story motel (circa 1959), reportedly patronized of late--for what it's worth--by members of REO Speedwagon and Blue Man Group, are nothing special (think dandelion-yellow baths and brown bedrooms). But don't let the bare-bones look deter you--free parking is a treasure in these parts, and you'll be close to the lively bar-hopping and shopping scenes around Clark Street and Broadway. 5990 N. Ridge Ave., 773/271-9181,from $62, www.heart ofchicago.com

Eat: Of course, you gotta go Chicago deep dish pizza. Travel Channel likes Pizzeria Duo (the second Pizzeria Uno store, since 1955), Giordano's, or Gino's East. See Fat Guy's Chicago Deep Dish Pizza & Golf Weekend.

A well-preserved throwback to the heydey of Route 66 is Lou Mitchell's Restaurant at Jackson & Jefferson Streets, open since 1923.

Fat Guy's Recommendation: Late night after the bars, hit The Weiner Circle (773-477-7444, www.hotdougs.com), which is more of an experience than a meal; huge Chicago-style hotdogs served with trademark obnoxious big-city service. Dave Attell of Comedy Central's Insomniac named it "Best Hamburger With A Side Of Abuse." A Must Eat. Or, Belushi's "Cheeborger, cheeborger" skit was inspired by Chicago's Billy Goat Restaurant. For a hearty lunch in the city, try Brother Jimmy's in the Lincoln Park section. Awesome ribs, order 'em dry rubbed, some of the best ribs I've ever had. The Kitsch'n River on Roscoe or the Kitsch'n River North at 600 W. Chicago Ave (312-644-1500) is re-created kitsch, but almost as good as the real thing.

After you're on the road heading out of ChiTown, eat at any of these Route 66 landmarks: the Launching Pad Drive-In in Wilmington, the Riveria Roadhouse in Gardner (a reputed speakeasy and Al Capone hang out with a 100-year-old streetcar diner out back), the Pig Hip Restaurant & Museum in Broadwell, the Cozy Dog Drive-In in Springfield, DeCamp Junction in Staunton, the Luna Cafe in Mitchell (another Capone hang out), or the Ariston Cafe in Litchfield IL.

Party: Cog Hill's Dub's Pub after the round. Named to Golf Digest's 2008 50 Best 19th Holes. "Dub's Pub, downstairs in the clubhouse, is 'cleaner and brighter' after a recent face-lift but still has a history as an old hangout for tour pros playing the Western Open, Chicago mobsters and even Evel Knievel; rectangular bar with granite counter; room decorated with photos of past tournament champs." Playboy digs Hala Kahiki tiki bar (River Grove), a classic since 1966, and it's also the highest rated tiki bar in the country for overall "tikiness" by Critiki.com: "Tucked away in a quiet suburb, Hala Kahiki is a beautiful classic tiki bar. The layout is sprawling but feels subdued and intimate. Witco carvings are featured heavily througout the bar. The gift shop is large and includes a section of vintage clothing." Maxim says Chicago's best dive bar is Two Way Lounge (2928 W. Fullerton). "A classic bare-bones drinking spot, Two Way gets its name because there are two ways to get in. Judging from the oldster doing face-plants on the bar, you'll probably be afraid there's now way to get out." Playboy says Chicago's Best Dive Bar is Rainbo Club (1150 N Damen, 773-489-5999). "Bust out your coolest hipster gear for the spot where all the midwestern indie rockers rub tatoos. Fill up on cheap suds and stumble into the photo booth."

For other bars stuck in retro time warps, TimeOutChicago.com recommends:

Marie’s Rip Tide (1745 W Armitage Ave, 773-278-7317). The sign outside says this late-night, ill-advised hook-up bar was established in 1961, and it shows: The bar’s black-leather booths with chrome tables, vintage arcade game above the bar and old-school Pepsi cooler are as perfectly preserved as the joint’s namesake and owner, Marie Wuczynski.

Sura (3124 N Broadway, 773-248-7872). Glossy white walls, floors, tables and ceilings get a splash of color from bright-red cushions on the mod bucket chairs, and clear-plastic bubble swings hang from a chain lodged to the ceiling. This looks more like James Bond's living room than a Thai bar/restaurant.

Motel Bar (600 W Chicago Ave, 312-822-2900). Designed to resemble a, um, motel bar, the long, airy space has the requisite Brady-ish low-slung orange chairs, red Naugahyde half-circle booths, gray-stone fireplace and dark wood accents.

Sure, if the loftlike ceiling were a little lower, the River North bar would feel a lot more authentically ’60s, but who are you, the design police? Just sip that Harvey Wallbanger ($8) and keep quiet.

See: The Cubbies at Wrigley, the 90-minute river cruise Chicago From The Lake (435 E Illinois, 312-527-1977), the shops and restaurants on Navy Pier, and Union Station. On the road, hit Abe Lincoln's house in Springfield, the refurbished Standard Station in Odell, Funk's Grove Maple Sirup stand, the giant Paul Bunyon statue in Route 66 Park in Atlanta IL, Shea's Vintage Filling Station in Springfield, and Henry's Rabbit Ranch in Staunton.

St. Louis:

Play: Fairfield GC, 1900 Columbia Quarry Rd, Columbia, IL 62236 (618) 281-7773 www.fairfieldgolfclub.com

Stay: The Sun Motel near the Chain Of Rocks Bridge over the Mississippi River, or the highly recommended Route 66 kitsch at the Munger Moss Motel in Lebanon, or the Boots Motel in Carthage.

Eat: The Munger Moss' BBQ has drawn national raves. Drew's Frozen Custard (serving St. Louis travellers since 1929), Debbie's Frozen Custard next to The Sun Motel, Wrink's Market in Lebanon, or The Cafe On The Route and Bill Murphy's Restaurant in Baxter Springs KS.

Party: I've been to East St. Louis once, for a bachelor party and wedding. The details remain fuzzy but I recall some pretty urban Gentlemen's clubs in some fairly seedy urban and industrial areas. Not the kind of places you'd want to wander in alone or even as a twosome without a local recommendation, but I have a vague recollection that the clubs were a good time.

See: The obligatory trip up the Arch, and the obligatory Bud brewery tour (12th & Lynch, 314-577-2626, www.budweisertours.com/toursSTL.htm), see the Chain Of Rocks Bridge over the Mississippi (walking & bikes only, and complete with preserved old Route 66 historical displays and roadside signs), Meremac Caverns, and the Victorian homes in Webb City.

Tulsa: It's easy to hear "Tulsa" and forget it was once the self-proclaimed "Oil Capital Of The World" back from the '20's through the '50's. A number of oil millionaires per capita still remain, along with an eclectic mix of great Art Deco, Spanish, Mission, and Wright-esque architecture. You'll find Tulsa a surprisingly metropolitan city with museums, a quality zoo, and urban renaissance areas filled with hip restaurants, bars, and coffee houses. I spend some time there for work, so I know my way around a little.

Play: Emerald Falls, Broken Arrow OK (semiprivate). Named Golf Digest 2008 #6 Best New Public in America. Players at this mid- to-upscale development near Tulsa will encounter leitmotifs of water, wood and stone. The water comes in the form of numerous lakes and streams that dictate play. Massive hundred-year-old oaks frame holes five through nine, and locally harvested sandstone lines the lakes, bridges and tees. Architect: Jerry Slack. Yardage: 7,148. Par: 72. Greens Fees: $55–$65. Tee Times: 918-266-2600, www.emeraldfalls.com

White Hawk GC in Bixby, OK (918-366-4653). A good value little rolling track out in the middle of nowhere, about 30-45 minutes out of Tulsa. My buddy Kenny Nunnley's home course. Longish, but makes you think, most holes you can't just bomb one off the tee. Some mild elevation changes, a few tight holes along a creek on the back. A fun test and a great value. Rating: 8.5, and a nice little grill and bar on premisis.

En route from Tulsa to Amarillo just on the other side of Oklahoma City, Golf Digest 2008 named Roman Nose GC (St. Hwy. 8A Watonga, OK 73772, about 25 minutes off Route 66, 866-602-4653) one of the best deals in golf. "Because they're subsidized with taxes, some of the nation's best, cheapest golf courses can be found in state parks. (Bethpage Black, anyone?) In summer, a lot of state parks offer stay-and-play packages that combine cabin or inn lodging with green fees. For $50 each, two can play the Roman Nose State Park course in Oklahoma and stay at the Watonga Lodge."

Stay: In Tulsa, hit the Courtyard Marriott or Embassy Suites near 33rd & Memorial. Further down the road, try the Lewis Motel in Clanton OK.

Eat: Fat Guy's Recommendation: Billy Ray's BBQ, Tulsa. One of my favorite BBQ joints anywhere. Served on wax paper on a tray. Great shoestring fries too. Take a bottle of their crowd-pleaser sauce home for grillin'. The best steaks in Tulsa are at Spudder's (6536 E 50th St), complete with old school oil field decor. Quality meats well-spiced, full of flavor, and reasonably priced. Heisler likes breakfast and the chicken 'n biscuits at Mary & Mark's. For Italian, locals dig Garlic Rose (3509 S Peoria Ave, 918-746-4900).

Once you're on the road out of Tulsa, hit Clanton's BBQ in Vinita, the Ku-Ku Drive In in Miami, the Rock Cafe in Stroud, Hillbillies Cafe in Arcadia (once a real Wild West saloon complete with companions for rent), Pops Soda & Shake Shop in Arcadia (a modern drive-in complete with a 66-foot tall neon soda bottle that pulsates varied colors at night), Ann's Chicken Fry in Oklahoma City (for chicken fried steak and fried green tomatoes), or Sid's Diner in Yukon.

Pops Soda & Shake Shop

Party: In Tulsa, there's a nice bar/lounge district around 34th & Peoria, featuring pseudo-biker bar Crow Creek Bar, a fun evening with nice outdoor seating and an outdoor stone fireplace; hit nearby En Fuego for Baja Mexican food; or Suede Ultralounge for martinis. You'll find up-and-coming clubs in the Brady District (around 18th & Boston): Margaritas Mexican; Tulsa tradition Caz's (www.cazspub.com) has been "helping ugly people have sex for 9 years"; and how can you not try a club named Rehab Lounge? OR check out The Foxx Hole Gentlemen's Club (6534 Charles Page Blvd, 918-245-6000); Bad Girls Inc. (1st & Elgin); upscale Night Trips (39th & S. Sheridan, www.nighttrips.com) is closest to the Courtyard; or Ritz Caberet (1881 S. Yale, www.ritztulsa.com). Check local rag Urban Tulsa Weekly (www.urbantulsa.com) for what's happening tonight.

See: The world's largest totem pole in Foyil, the Route 66 Visitor's Center in Afton, the Coleman Theater in Miami, the giant blue whale in Catoosa, Tulsa's Art Deco architecture, the Blue Dome in Tulsa, Route 66 Harley-Davidson in Tulsa, the Will Rogers Memorial Museum in Claremore, Seaba Station Route 66 Gifts & Antiques near Warwick, the round barn in Arcadia, the Weatherford Drive In Theater, the Route 66 Museum in Clinton, and the National Route 66 Museum in Elk City.

Amarillo:

Next stop: Amarillo Texas. 365 miles and about 6 hours through southwestern Oklahoma and the Texas panhandle. Before I'd left on my little sojourn, I'd been talking to one of the sales guys who calls on me about my upcoming trip. He was a big, loud, gin-blossomed, shoulda-been-a-beat-cop Irish guy from North Jersey named Pete Wilson, and when I mentioned I'd be stopping in Amarillo, a dark look came over his face. "Oh, man," Pete joked, "The longest week of my life was the night I spent in Amarillo." When I asked why, he simply said that there wasn't much there, a stark and scraggly town with some bad elements, a liquor store on every corner, and just not a fun place to be. His words still rang in my head as I rolled into the outskirts of Amarillo late night. True to Pete's word, I passed some dirty auto parts stores, a few abandoned gas stations, and it seemed like every fourth building I passed was a bar or liquor store, half of them with dirt parking lots. All of them had bars on the windows, and each one seemed to have somebody wearing a cowboy hat walking out the door towards a pickup truck carrying a brown paper bag with bottles inside. Amarillo wasn't much to look at in the dark. I wondered what it might look like in the light of day.

Play: This is probably your best stretch to skip playing for a day, cover some ground, and work your way towards the Grand Canyon. If you must scratch your golf itch here, Golflink.com gives the Ross Rogers Municipal East Course 5/5 stars (1968 Leon Howard), and the sister West course 4/5 stars. 722 NW 24th Ave Amarillo, TX 79107-3016, (806) 378-3086, 12 miles from the center of Amarillo.

Stay: I stayed at the Clarion Inn in Amarillo (with a 24 hour Denny's across the street). Down the road try The Old Cactus Inn in McLean TX, or the Vega Motel in Vega.

Eat: The Red River Steakhouse in McLean (housed in the famous former Reptile Ranch building), The Big Texan Steakhouse in Amarillo (home of the 72-oz. free steak challenge and featured on the Travel Channel), or the Mid-Point Cafe in Adrian (at the mid-point of Route 66, great BBQ & homemade pie).

Party: Boondocks (711 W. 10th Ave) and the Blue Gator (7220 W. Rockwell Rd) got good ratings in Cityguide.aol.com.

See: Cadillac Ranch, The Tower Station & U-Drop Inn in Shamrock, the massive Route 66 Rest Area & attraction at I-40 mile marker 129 in Donley County, the largest cross in the northern hemisphere in Groom, the Bug Ranch (a take-off on the Cadillac Ranch but with VW Beetles) in Conway, and The Bent Door Trading Post in Adrian.

Albuquerque, NM:

Play:
Fat Guy's Recommendation: The Championship Course at the University Of New Mexico. 1966 Red Lawrence, Greens Fees: ~$70, www.unm.edu/~golf

This course is consistently rated as as tops among collegiate and New Mexico courses, and is a regular on the rotation to host the NCAA Championships. I didn't realize it at first, but this course is at over 5,000 feet in elevation. The clowns I got paired up with didn't mention it until I'd flown 4 consecutive greens. Club down one on everything but tee shots. Lots of up and down, some severe elevation changes. I wouldn't walk it in the heat. It's in good shape. Bring the long ball and a good bunker game. Pretty vistas of Albuquerque area. A good value for the price.

Golf Magazine likes Santa Ana GC ($18-$55, www.santaanagolf.com, Notah Begay's boyhood track, hosts a Nationwide Tour event, 27 holes bounded by mountains and desert) courses, and ranked #12 on their 2007 Thrifty 50. Near the airport hit Isleta Eagle GC ($26-$50, www.iseletaeagle.com), 27 holes of walkable tribe-owned tall mounds, ponds, and the tranquil Rio Grande; or play local fave Pueblo de Cochiti GC ($29-$52, 505-465-2239), a tight, strategic RTJ, Jr. field tucked into the red-rock foothills halfway to Santa Fe, where a clubhouse sign reads "DON'T FEED THE COYOTE PUPS ON HOLES 13 & 14", $3.2 mil' '02 renovation.

T&L Golf likes: Sandia ****
Year-old Sandia Golf Club sits on the grounds of one of the Southwest's largest tribal casinos. The architect, Scott Miller, is the former Nicklaus designer who created Arizona's rollicking We-Ko-Pa and Idaho's Coeur d'Alene Resort (famous for its floating island green), so he understands that golf should be fun. The back tees are a whopping 7,772 yards, yet the slope is a measly 125. How can this be? Simple. The course is long, just not very hard. The landing areas are generous, and the green surrounds are soft and friendly. Particularly enjoyable are the par-four tenth, which plays toward the Sandia Mountains, and the split-fairway par-four sixth. But you'll likely return just because the whole place left you grinning, thanks in part to the homemade green- and red-chile burritos ordered from the beverage cart.
30 Rainbow Road, Albuquerque; 505-798-3990, sandiagolf.com. YARDAGE: 7,772.PAR: 72. SLOPE: 125. ARCHITECT: Scott Miller, 2005. GREENS FEES: $65–$75.

Just south of the Albuquerque airport, the linksy Isleta Eagle Golf Course ($38–$50, 505-869-0950) enjoys an enviable location and some expansive views of the Rio Grande.

Stay: The Blue Swallow Motel along Neon Motel Row in Tucumcari, the La Fonda Hotel in Santa Fe (if you're following the Route 66 1926-1937 Santa Fe alignment), the El Vado Motel in Albuquerque, or Fat Guy recommends the Hotel El Ranco in Gallup (a real Old West hotel with saloon doors and a former stopping point for old school movie stars making Westerns in the NM desert). The El Rancho's restaurant serves up a decent cowboy steak.

Eat: The Comet Drive In or Joseph's Bar & Grill (home of the famed Route 66 icon Fat Man logo) both in Santa Rosa, The Dog House (tasty hotdogs) in Albuquerque , or the Top Of The Word Hotel & Cafe at the Continental Divide. Golf Magazine says, towering over Albuquerque's teeming Mexican-food throng is El Pinto (505-898-1771) in north Albuquerque, a 40-year-old, massive carnival in a rustic setting. Other favorites include The 66 Diner (505-247-1421) for hearty grub on the Mother Road (order the Creamsicle milkshake); or Il Vicino (505-266-7855) for tasty pizza in a hip college neighborhood. T&L Golf likes Frontier Restaurant (New Mexican). A classic or a dive—it's your call—this jumping place just off the campus of the University of New Mexico teems with students, professors and travelers who come twenty-four hours a day for the handmade tortillas and hangover-fixing green-chile breakfast burritos. 2400 Central Avenue SE, Albuquerque; 505-266-0550. $

Party: Kelly's Brewery in Albuquerque. For Gentlemen's clubs, Dave Attell from Comedy Central's Insomniac digs The Ice House (506 1st St NW, 505-247-2665).

See: Tee Pee Curios shop in Tucumcari, Bono's Route 66 Auto Museum in Santa Rosa, the deadly La Bajada Hill (if you're following the Route 66 1926-1937 Santa Fe alignment), Cline's Corners Trading Post (@ Rts I-40 & 285), the last Whiting Bros. gas station (an old Route 66 icon) in operation in the country in Moriarty, Albuquerque's Neon Motel Row, and Gallup's Neon Motel Row.

Grand Canyon, AZ: I'll admit it; I screwed up this part of my trip royally. I was young and dumb and operating on next-to-no itinerary other than a smattering of tee times I'd made. No hotel reservations, no research, no guidebook, just me and the open road. There was a great feeling of freedom traveling that way, but by the time I hit the Grand Canyon, I'd been on the road for six solid days, playing every day, and covering at least 450 miles per day in between tee times. When I pulled up to the entrance to Grand Canyon National Park, I was confronted by two things: First, I had no idea how massively popular a destination the National Parks are, and I somehow thought I might just stumble on to some rustic cabin motel on the rim of the canyon with a vacancy, not realizing that accomodations inside the park often book up 2 years in advance. Second, it was pissing rain upon my arrival for the half-day I'd left myself to check out America's greatest natural treasure, and my light golf rain jacket wasn't going to keep me half-dry for 15 minutes, let alone a full day of sightseeing. After standing in line to inquire in vain about vacancies or cancellations at the two hotels at the entrance to the park, I was road weary and already soaking wet just from running across the parking lots. There was already a small traffic jam forming at the entrance to the park. I was too beat to deal with it. I said screw it, and just left. I was at the entrance to the Grand Canyon, and never went in. I spent the afternoon and evening recharging my batteries in a Flagstaff Motel 6, floating on my back in the pool, then watching HBO and eating Domino's in the room.

So learn from my mistakes. First, plan a couple half-day breaks into your itinerary for just lounging and relaxation to avoid road trip burnout. Second, pack a full golf rain suit, plus a real rain coat for sightseeing. Third, if you're planning on getting a good long look at the Grand Canyon when passing through these parts, allow yourself at least a full day, or better yet two, and make these reservations first (for both lodging and tours), as far in advance as possible. TravelChannel.com has some great info on the best spots and ways to see the Canyon, so check out their Grand Canyon pages. If you can catch their one hour special, Inside Grand Canyon National Park, it'll give you a great flavor for all there is to see and do.

Save on pricey in-park lodging rates by bringing your tent and a good sleeping bag and reserving a spot at one of the camp grounds, but get educated on proper camping food storage so you don't wake up to a bear in your tent.

Outside of the typical day-hike "as far down the Canyon as you can go before you're too tired to go back", or a golf-swing-wrecking overnight mule-back trip to the floor and back, here's a few Must Do nooks and crannies of arguably America's greatest National Park: Havasu Falls. From IGoUGo.com, "Once you turn off of old Route 66 down Indian Road, you will dead-end into the Havasupai Trailhead. A sheer cliff drop off with a steep footpath brings you into another worldly canyon. Huge boulders of dusty gray and red, canyon walls, and lush cottonwoods appear as your journey takes you closer to the village. The eight mile trip down to the Supai Village ranges from STRAIGHT DOWN, to level terrain, and drops once again as you enter into the river area. Once at the village, you have another 2.5 miles to get to the falls. It's well worth the effort. Havasupai Falls spills out of a red faced cliff into an emerald pool of water rivaled only by the Caribbean. It's a playground for those who are enamoured with the raw beauty of nature. Mooney Falls, which is a short jaunt further is not for the faint of heart. You can see the falls from the cliff top, but if you want to take a dip, you have to scale down a cliff wall, through a few pueblo-style openings, hang on to a chain ladder, and pray. You can camp in the facilities or there is a small lodge in the village. Advance reservations are needed!" The Grand Canyon Railroad offers destination trips to and from the south end of the Grand Canyon National Park in an old-fashioned steam/diesel locomotive. Call for reservations; prices range from $58-$147 for adults and $25-$114 for children. The trip terminates at the original Santa Fe Railroad station and El Tovar Hotel ($174-$426/night). The architecture of the El Tovar is a slightly out-of-place European style, and it's a National Historic Landmark.

Flagstaff, AZ: Flagstaff is a touristy town and the gateway to the Grand Canyon. Stay here to save some dough if you're planning on just a day-trip to the Canyon, but the Canyon is a 90-mile trip from Flagstaff.

Play:
Fat Guy's Recommendation: Take a little sidetrip on one of the country's most scenic drives from Flagstaff down Route 89 to Sedona winding through gorgeous mountains and gorges, dipping down into a pine-lined river valley. Then buck up for Sedona GC, with some of the most beautiful desert scenery you'll ever see. Outside of some holes being surrounded by a housing development, it's like playing golf in the middle of a Road Runner cartoon. The greens fees are a little over $100, but this one is worth it for the scenery. Cute, flirty beverage cart girls too.

Golf Digest likes: In Flagstaff, play Continental Country Club. It's just about the only daily-fee game in town. Although it tips out at 6,029 yards, this 1960 layout serves as a great warm-up, and can play tough and tight for those unaccustomed to tiny Poa annua greens. Until 2003, Continental called itself Elden Hills Golf Club, in honor of Mount Elden, the 9,300-foot-tall monolith that's visible from nearly every hole. In Williams AZ, hit Elephant Rocks, which took its name from the large volcanic boulders that loosely resemble the animal and stand sentry at the entrance to the course. It opened in 1922 with nine holes and sand greens, losing the latter only in 1990 and adding a second nine in 1999. The course is framed by Bill Williams Mountain and San Francisco Peaks and is cut from a pine forest and through a meadow—a postcard on which golf has been played along the mother road since Route 66 officially opened in 1926.

Stay: On Route 89 between Flagstaff and Sedona are a few creek side cabins for rent which are just quaint as hell, rustic little places accessed by a short drive through a shallow part of the creek. The most charming of these spots was a little cluster of a dozen cabins called Forest House. I stopped and picked up a flyer, and wished I’d have known about the place before I shacked up at Motel 6 in Flagstaff. Or try the kitschy Twilight Motel (formerly the Arrowhead Lodge) in Flagstaff.

Or, after your sidetrip to Phoenix, book a tee-pee at The Wigwam Motel in Holbrook (yes, with actual tee-pees for rooms). Once you're back on the road again, consider the La Posada Hotel in Winslow (great Southwestern architecture of a 1930 Harvey House hotel), The Route 66 Motel in Seligman, or The Oatman Hotel in Oatman (Clark Gable spent his honeymoon there in 1939).

Eat: In Flagstaff, Golf Magazine likes the homey Cottage Place Restaurant. Tuck into the tournedos Gorgonzola, paired with a selection from the Wine-Spectator-award-winning wine list. For less rich fare hit the low-key, convivial Beaver Street Brewery & Whistle Stop Cafe.

In Sedona, my friend Beth and Maximum Golf recommend the Cowboy Club. Try the rattlesnake apps, the cowboy stew, or the buffalo burgers and steaks.

After you're back on the road heading west from Flagstaff, hit The Roadkill 66 Cafe & Steakhouse or The Snow Cap Drive-In in Seligman AZ, or Mr. D's Diner in Kingman AZ.

Party: Downtown Flagstaff has been exquisitely preserved, as has its Museum Club, which opened on Route 66 in 1931 to house the owner's collection of stuffed and mounted animals, rifles and Indian artifacts. In 1936, it became a popular nightclub and remains so today, under the ownership of Martin Zanzucchi. Golf Digest digs Beaver Street Brewery for chili and short-ribs, washed down with a local Big Red Rapid Ale.

See: A Pink Jeep tour in Sedona, the Teepee Indian Trading Post in Lupton, the starkly beautiful scenery of The Painted Desert, the Rainbow Rock Shop in Holbrook (complete with life-sized dinosaur sculptures out front), the Geronimo Trading Post outside Holbrook, the famed Jack Rabbit Trading Post (finally, after all the rabbit signs!) in Joseph City, the Winslow AZ corner park dedicated to the famed Eagles lyric, Meteor City outside Winslow, the Grand Canyon, the Route 66 Gift Shop in Seligman, Grand Canyon Caverns, The Hackberry General Store, The Powerhouse Route 66 Museum in Kingman, and Cool Springs Camp near Oatman and the Sitgreaves Pass.

Optional Sidetrip to Phoenix/Scottsdale, AZ (approx 2 hours off 66): At first I was surprised by the sheer scale of Phoenix, the miles and miles of sprawl, with the Southwestern and Spanish-influenced architecture next to tinted-glass office buildings and perfect auto-watered Bermuda lawns, and it seemed like everywhere you went there was another college campus. By my casual observation, there was definitely an uptick in the talent level in Phoenix compared with anyplace I’d been since Chicago.

Play: You could easily spend a week here playing golf. The upscale choices are no brainers, but here's a couple decent value courses... Keep in mind, if Scottsdale doesn't define nouvelle riche then I don't know what does. Case in point: Golf Digest's 2006 recommendation for Scottsdale's best value is The Raven Club at Verrado, where $159 will get you a weekend day filled with unlimited golf, cart, unlimited range balls, lunch and dinner at the Verrado Grill, with unlimited snacks and 2 non-alchoholic bevies from the beer cart. The course is a high-end desert design by John Fought and Tom Lehman.

Fat Guy's Recommendation: Personally I prefer a deal like the masterfully simple 1962 Red Lawrence layout at Estrella Mountain Golf Course (not to be confused with the nearby Estrella Mountain Ranch GC by Jack Nicklaus). $15 for a 4PM twilight round through rocky foothills, desert wasteland, and Bermuda fairways. My buddy Weasel likes Camelback and McCormick Ranch. Don't forget, some of the best value greens fees are during the heat of the day (if you can stand it, bring the SPF 50, wear a white golf shirt and a hat, a couple wet towels, and bring plenty of water). Phoenix/Scottsdale cart girls are also hotter than the average bear, so bring plenty of singles.

Golf Digest 2008 named Troon North's summer rates as one of the best deals in golf: the greens fees get knocked down from $245 to $75 in the summer. Or, Papago MGC made #49 on Golf Magazine's 2007 Thrifty 50 (Top 50 Courses under $50). 7,068 yards, par 72; Greens fee: $38 and up, 602-275-8428, phoenix.gov/sports/papago.html.

Stay: I stayed at a Clarion Inn in Scottsdale. This town pretty much defines sububan sprawl, so in the absence of Route 66 kitsch, you won't have any trouble finding a decent lower end chain to crash in. An indoor pool is a must to recover from 18 holes in the desert heat.

Eat: For reasonable Mexican fare, try Arriba Cafe on Camelback Rd. near 7th. Also, there's a Hard Rock Cafe and several other national chain restaurants on Camelback Rd. Jeff recommends Cooperstown (www.alicecooperstown.com) owned by veteran rocker-turned-2-handicap Alice Cooper, billed as "Where Jock and Rock meet." Order Tony LaRussa's St. Louis dry rub ribs. Check out other earthy scoot-and-boots steakhouse experiences like the down-to-earth pleasures of Pinnacle Peak Patio and The Unlikely Cowboy, flavorful establishments favored for their unpretentious surroundings. Per US Airways magazine, for pizza in Phoenix: No less than the New York Times rated Phoenix's Pizzeria Bianco (623 E Adams, Heritage Square, www.pizzeriabianco.com) as the best pizza in America. Only a 42-person seating capacity but worth the wait, so grab apps and drinks at the adjacent bar. Grimaldi's Coal Brick-Oven Pizzeria (4000 N Scottsdale Rd & 20715 N Pima Rd, Scottsdale, www.patsygrimaldis.com) by a NY native who apprenticed under famed NY pizza-maker Gennaro Lombardi [Fat Guy note: Lombardi's rates as my Best Pizza On The Planet]. Grazie Pizzeria (6952 E Main, Scottsdale, www.gazie.us) has ambience and unique dishes to compliment 14 differnt pizzas. Classic Italian Pizza (1054 E Baseline, 480-345-8681) defies it's strip mall surroundings with made-from-scratch pies. For a healthier self-serve meal, PGA Tour pro Jeff Sluman recommends AJ's Grocery Store for fresh dishes of all sorts. Try whatever they're serving for the daily special. Rocco Mediate likes the Thai food at Flo's Asian Kitchen.

Party: Playboy says you can't miss Jenna Jameson's Pussycat Lounge (4426 N Saddlebag Trl). Or get your college party on at Playboy Top 10 Party School Arizona State bars Maloney's (955 E University Dr, Tempe, on campus) or The Library Bar & Grill (501 S Mill Ave, Tempe).

Tour addicts know Arron Olberholser is one of the PGA's up-and-coming young pros, and he proved it with a strong leaderboard showing at the 2006 Masters. A 31-year-old bachelor (with cha-ching) and a Scottsdale resident for the past 4 years, Arron recommends these hotspots: Scottsdale's best sports bar is FOX Sports Grill (16203 N Scottsdale Rd). "You can't find a better spot to watch the games. All the flat screens you can handle." For nightlife, Arron says The Downside Risk (14950 N Northsight Blvd) is a very cool neighborhood hangout, Greasewood Flats (27500 N Alma School Pkwy) is a great old western bar with live music, and San Felipe's Cantina (20825 N Pima Rd) says it all with a sign inside reading, 'You don't come here for the food.'

See: …all the Arizona State hotties running around. Bring your video camera, a Girls Gone Wild t-shirt, some GGW stickers, and see if you can pull off posing as a talent scout for Joe Francis. Not that I've ever done that kind of thing...

From Phoenix, it's a run back up to Route 66, or from Flagstaff, move on to:

Palm Springs, CA: Palm Springs was the winter home of Frank Sinatra. This upscale enclave isn't quite classic Route 66 kitsch, so stick to Frank's old haunts while in this desert mountain town.

Play: Unfortunately most of the places where the Rat Pack used to tee it up are either private country clubs and/or no longer exist. And $95 greens fees seem to pass for a good value in this Hollywood getaway town these days.

Fat Guy's Recommendation: Moreno Valley Ranch Greens Fees: ~$60; 909-924-4444 www.theranchatmorenovalley.com
This place is the only good value in town. The clubhouse has a decidedly municipal feel, but this one breaks my buddy Weasel's rule of "Don't Play Any Course With The Word 'Ranch' In The Name". This 27 hole facility is some of Pete Dye at his finest. The Mountain Nine starts at the edge of the mountain, snaking through a development, and slowly climbing to the mountaintops. Big elevation changes on some long par 4's. One par 3 has a tee on one mountain top and an "island" green on the next mountain top over, with the wind howling away, where a missed shot will roll all the way to the valley. The Lakes Nine returns to the valley floor with water as a main feature, also an excellent layout. The Mountain/Lakes combo hosts a Nationwide Tour event and generally makes most Top 100 public course Best Value lists. A great value. Rating: 8.75

On the (relative) lower end of the scale, Golf Magazine likes:
Cimarron Golf Resort Greens fees: $85-$99 (Long Course); $19-$45 (Short Course); 760-770-6060;cimarrongolf.com
Marriott's Shadow Ridge Greens fees: $95; 760-674-2600marriottsshadowridge.com
PGA of Southern California Golf Club at Oak Valley Greens fees: $66-$92; 909-845-8996scpgagolf.com
T&L Golf likes:
Desert Dunes Golf Club **** 760-251-5370, desertdunesgolf.com. Yardage: 6,876. Par: 72. Slope: 142. Greens Fees: $89–$105. Architect: Robert Trent Jones Jr., 1989
Tahquitz Creek Resort Course **** 760-328-1005, tahquitzcreek.com. Yardage: 6,705. Par: 72. Slope: 125. Greens Fees: $79–$109. Architect: Ted Robinson Jr., 1995

Stay: Since there's hardly any good value digs in town, buck up for the kitsch at Oasis at the Orbit In (yes, that's how they spell it), a shrine to mid-20th century design. Recently restored to its original 1957 glory, the Oasis is the sister property to the Orbit In's Hideaway, another modernist masterpiece. Under towering palms at the foot of the San Jacinto Mountains, the Oasis' nine rooms surround a swimming pool, beside which stands a boomerang-shaped bar. True to Rat Pack form, there's always a drink within reach. Or, Caliente Tropics Resort, a tiki-inspired hotel at the foot of the mountains bordering downtown Palm Springs which received a $2.2 million restoration back in 2000 to return to it's former 1960's glory. Frank and the boys frequented its Cellar Bar. But these days your only choice is the tiki-ish Hawaiian Bill's. Joel Cutler, the hotel's director of sales, says the Cellar Bar has gone under. "A previous owner filled it with concrete," Cutler said, joking that if you want to unearth any Rat Pack secrets, "come with a jackhammer."

Further down the road, try The Palms Motel in Needles (a refurbished 1920's motor court & cabins), The Best Motel in Needles (a former classic 1950's vintage TraveLodge), or the New Corral Motel in Victoville. For true Route 66 kitsch, motor on to The Wigwam Motel in San Bernadino. Further on, other kitschy options include The Old Aztec Motel in Monrovia, or The Astro Motel in Pasadena.

Eat: In Palm Springs, T&L Golf says ever since Crazy Bones Barbeque (760-325-5200) fired up its outdoor grill late a few years ago, the aroma of sizzling ribs, brisket and steaks has been wafting down Palm Canyon Drive in Palm Springs. The kitchen takes you, gastronomically speaking, from St. Louis to Texas to Memphis. Even natives of those parts are impressed.

Or you can eat at one of Ol' Blue Eyes' favorite restaurants, Lord Fletcher's Inn, where the grandmotherly, bouffant-sporting Dorothy gladly served customers until her recent retirement, providing morsels about waiting on Sinatra himself. Order what Frank would have ordered: "Beef short ribs, salad with special dressing -- no garlic," she said without missing a beat. "Mr. Sinatra never ate garlic. Honestly, Frank wasn't much interested in the food," Dorothy said. "It was mostly the drink: Jack Daniel's." Or hit Tony's Pasta Mia & Copa Lounge, a red-sauce Italian joint in downtown Palm Springs where Sinatra liked to eat.

Once you're back on the road, try The Bagdad Cafe (inspired by the movie of the same name) in Newberry Springs, McClintock's BBQ in Oro Grande, Emma Jean's Truck Stop (home of the Brian Burger) between Oro Grande and Victorville, The Summit Inn at Cajon Pass (order an ostrich burger), The Milta Cafe in San Bernadino (order the chilli rellanos), The Magic Lamp Inn in Rancho Cucamonga, or The Fair Oaks Pharmacy in Pasadena (order an ice cream float from the old time drug store counter).

Party: In Palm Springs, the Village Pub (266 S. Palm Canyon Dr, 760-323-3265) has an eclectic beer menu and live music, a homey local fave. Cigar bar, pool tables, big screen TV, and a couch-filled lounge upstairs. OR, after the Hope, sometimes John Daly's band plays Buckett's. Back out on 66, hit The Iron Hog Saloon in Oro Grande.

See: The classic mid-century architecture of Roy's Motel & Cafe in Amboy (popular as a filming spot for movies), The Mother Road Museum in Barstow, The California Route 66 Museum in Victorville, or the Mission Tiki Drive-In in Montclair (recommended by Maxim and featuring IMAX quality projection, classic exploitation flicks, rockabilly bands, and dancing girls during the annual Tiki Invasion).

Santa Monica/L.A., CA: The western terminus of Route 66 was once at 7th & Broadway in the heart of L.A., before a new alignment took it all the way to the Santa Monica Pier.

Play: San Luis Rey Downs
San Luis Rey Downs is one of those tracks that might be a local's favorite nobody'd ever heard of, if it wasn't for the fact that handlebar-mustached PGA & Champions Tour pro/CBS golf analyst & funnyman/author/King Jagoff Gary McCord cut his teeth learning the golfing life here. Check out McCord's book Just A Range Ball In A Box Of Titleists for laugh-out-loud-on-public-transportation tales of McCord and his Downs cronies: a stable of bookies, Vietnam Vets, horse trainers, army sargeants, topless bar managers, bald hairdressers, and bartenders, with nicknames like "Brain Damage", "The Kitchen", "Mad Max", "The Breathalyzer", "Lock & Load", "20/20" (who was legally blind), "Quick Pour", and "Unemployed Lloyd".

Stay: The Wigwam Motel, Rialto CA (www.wigwammotel.com)

Eat: A hotdog on the Santa Monica Pier.

Party: Rusty's (www.rustyssurfranch.com) is the quintessential SoCal beach bar.

See: The Santa Monica Pier and the end of the Mother Road. Stroll out to the end of the pier to take in the view, then walk down along the beach with your toes in the sand.

SAMPLE ITINERARY, ROUTE 66 UPSCALE:

Chicago:

Play: Cog Hill #4 Dubsdread. This Chicagoland muni has hosted The PGA Tour's Western Open for years. Long, tough, memorable, and worth the $.

Stay: Travel Channel digs the hipster boutique Hotel Monaco Chicago (225 N Wabash Ave, 312-960-8500). Great suites, Silly Putty and mini-Etch-A-Sketch with the mini-bar, free goldfish companion upon request, 2-person whirlpool spas, plus a haughtily-decorated Rock-N'-Roll suite available (drenched in memorobilia to finally quench your leftover teenage rock star/groupie fantasy), and a frivolous nightly wine tasting happy hour (featuring games of Twister and other fun ice breakers).

For upscale, T&L Golf likes the tony Peninsula Chicago (866-288-8889; rooms from $440) along North Michigan Avenue. Its fitness center and spa offers panoramic views.

Eat: Of course, you gotta go Chicago deep dish pizza. Travel Channel likes Pizzeria Duo (Pizzeria Uno ancestor, since 1955), Giordano's, or Gino's East. T&L Golf likes Gibson's Steakhouse (312-266-8999, $$$$) at Bellevue and Rush streets. Gibson's keeps the city's slaughterhouse roots alive. Try the Chicago Cut, a bone-in rib eye. Playboy says: For the most romantic spot in the entire Midwest, try the extraordinary food and amazing city views at Everest (440 S LaSalle, 312-663-8920). Order the poached beef tenderloin. Or hit stylish Avec (615 W Randolph, 312-377-2002) for gastronomic delights. Other great eats include Charlie Trotter's (816 W Amitage, 773-248-6228); Tru (676 N St Clair, 312-202-0001); or Topolobampo (445 N Clark, 312-661-1434).

See: The Cubbies at Wrigley, and the 90-minute river cruise Chicago From The Lake (435 E Illinois, 312-527-1977), the shops and restaurants on Navy Pier, and Union Station. On the road, hit Abe Lincoln's house in Springfield, the refurbished Standard Station in Odell, Funk's Grove Maple Sirup stand, the giant Paul Bunyon statue in Route 66 Park in Atlanta IL, Shea's Vintage Filling Station in Springfield, and Henry's Rabbit Ranch in Staunton.

St. Louis:

Play: Missouri Bluffs GC (18 Research Park Circle, St. Charles MO, 636-939-6494, $110)
This course was carved out of the natural terrain, so wildlife can be seen frequently. There are lakes that come into play on holes #8 and #9. This is a fair course due to the generous width of the fairways. The signature hole is #15, a 529-yard, par 5, requiring a 200 yard shot from an elevated tee, then an approach to a double-tiered green. Golf Digest rated this course as the #1 "Best Public Course" in the state for 1996, and also selected it 43rd among the "Top 75 Upscale Courses" for the same year. The same publication rated it as the 6th "Best in State" course for 1997-98. The green fees include the cart fee and 50 range balls.

OR, Pevely Farms GC 400 Lewis Rd Eureka, MO 63025 (636) 938-7000 pevelyfarms.com "... Pevely Farms, a once-thriving dairy show farm, has been transformed into a world-class golf experience by one of the greatest names in golf course architecture, ..."

Stay:

Eat: My buddy Scott says the best steak he's ever had was at Dierdorf & Hart's (yes, it's co-owned by former St. Louis Rams and Monday Night Football alum Dan Dierdorf), a 14 oz. filet he claims was about 8 inches high and extremely Pittsburgh rare in the center.

Party:

See: The obligatory trip up the Arch, the Chain Of Rocks Bridge over the Mississippi (walking & bikes only, and complete with preserved old Route 66 historical displays and roadside signs), Meremac Caverns, and the Victorian homes in Webb City.

Tulsa:

Play: Forest Ridge GC (www.forestridge.com 7501 E Kenosha St, Broken Arrow, OK 74014 918-357-2282) was private when I played it back in 1997, but I've since read that it's now accessible by the public. The clubhouse looks like Riviera, the grounds and course are immaculately maintained, and the routing is cut out of the woods and wetlands with rolling elevation changes and one of the toughest I've ever played. Long, supertight, and just plain brutal. World class conditions. Narrow fairways slope off into woods and swamplands, every kick I got was deservedly horrible. Bring the A game, swing a stick you can hit straight, don't be afraid to play a par 4 as a par 5. Water in play on 8 holes. Fat Guy Rating: 9.25

BestOfTulsa.com says play Clary Fields, a par 71 course measuring 6,700 yards from the back tees. Designed by Tripp Davis, Clary Fields has a links feel, with some tree-lined fairways leading to large greens averaging 500 square feet.

Stay: Per T&L Golf, in downtown Tulsa stay at Hotel Ambassador. Built for 1920's oil barons, this 10-story gem will serve as a memorable base camp. Gamblers may want to take up residence at the newly ('04) opened Cherokee Casino & Resort (I-44 & 93rd E. Ave). Gambling, sports bars, martini lounges, local chain McGill's Steakhouse (a small, classy room), and championship golf on premisis.

Eat: If you're on the company dime, Kelly recommends the melt-in-your-mouth steaks and massive ala cart portions at Mahogany Prime Steak House (6823 S Yale Ave, www.mahoganyprime.com). Chalkboard Restaurant is an elegantly casual setting with a stirring menu. Try the beef tenderloin. Jenn likes Tiki for Asian food, the Celebrity Room (3109 S Yale Ave) for good salad and steaks, and Bourbon Street Cafe (11542 E 15th St) for Cajun.

Party: There's a nice bar/lounge district around 34th & Peoria, featuring pseudo-biker bar Crow Creek Bar, a fun evening with nice outdoor seating and an outdoor stone fireplace; hit nearby En Fuego for Baja Mexican cuisine; or Suede Ultralounge for martinis. You'll find up-and-coming clubs in the Brady District (around 18th & Boston): Margaritas Mexican; Tulsa tradition Caz's (www.cazspub.com) has been "helping ugly people have sex for 9 years"; and how can you not try a club named Rehab Lounge?

See:

Amarillo: If you're going upscale, I'd plan my intinerary to find a way to just drive straight through Amarillo. Press on for Albuquerque.

Albuquerque, NM:

Play: Golf Digest likes Paa-ko Ridge, east of Albuquerque and only a middle iron north of Route 66, recently rated the best in the state and the 20th-best public course in America by Golf Digest.

T&L Golf Review: Paa-Ko Ridge ****1/2
For years Ken Dye (no relation to Pete) was best known as the architect of America's supreme value course, Piñon Hills, in remote northwestern New Mexico. With Paa-Ko Ridge Golf Club, situated between 6,500 and 7,000 feet on the sunrise side of the Sandia Mountains twenty minutes from Albuquerque and less than an hour from Santa Fe, Dye created a near- masterpiece that's readily accessible. Paa-Ko Ridge rambles through junipers, cedars and piñones, or small pines, occasionally skirting arroyos and outcroppings of rock. This is high desert, to be sure, but it's heavily forested; the mountains defining the horizon are clothed in shades of green. The par threes form a distinguished quartet, with two of them, the eighth and fourteenth, checking in at 260-plus yards. But it's the 183-yard fourth you'll remember most, not for the uphill thrust over a ravine, but for the green itself, which unfurls in three tiers and stretches a hundred yards end to end.
One Clubhouse Drive, Sandia Park; 505-281-6000, paakoridge.com. YARDAGE: 7,562.PAR: 72. SLOPE: 138. ARCHITECT: Ken Dye, 2000. GREENS FEES: $75–$89.

Golf Magazine likes Twin Warriors GC ($80-$125, www.twinwarriors.com, woven through 20 ancient cultural sites, an extinct volcano, and lava flows, pricey but invigorating).

Stay: Golf Magazine likes upscale and golf-friendly Hyatt Regency Tamaya Resort & Spa (www.tamaya.hyatt.com) on the Santa Ana pueblo, alongside the recommended Twin Warriors GC (above). The Hyatt features 3 pools, a 2-story water slide, 2 restaurants and a casino.

Eat: Golf Magazine likes Bien Shur (505-796-7788) serving fine seafood and native dishes on the Sandia Pueblo; Artichoke Cafe's (505-243-0200) casual American/French/Italian mix; or Prarie Star (505-867-3327, @ Santa Ana GC) for superb SW cuisine.

Party:

See:

Grand Canyon, AZ: I'll admit it; I screwed this part of my trip up royally. I was young and dumb and operating on next-to-no itinerary other than a smattering of tee times I'd made. No hotel reservations, no research, just me and the open road. There was a great feeling of freedom travelling that way, but by the time I hit the Grand Canyon, I'd been on the road for five solid days, playing every day, and covering at least 450 miles per day in between tee times. When I pulled up to the entrance to Grand Canyon National Park, I was confronted by two things: First, I had no idea how massively popular a desination the National Parks are, and I somehow thought I might just stumble on to some rustic cabin motel on the rim of the canyon with a vacancy, not realizing that accomodations inside the park often book up 2 years in advance. Second, it was pissing rain upon my arrival for the half-day I'd left myself to check out America's greatest natural treasure, and my light golf rain jacket wasn't going to keep me half-dry for 15 minutes, let alone a full day of sightseeing. After standing in line to inquire about vacancies or cancellations at the two hotels at the entrance to the park, I was road weary and already soaking wet just from running across the parking lots. I was too beat to deal with it. I said screw it, and just left. I was at the entrance to the Grand Canyon, and never went in. I spent the afternoon and evening recharging my batteries in a Flagstaff Motel 6 pool and room, watching HBO and eating Domino's.

So learn from my mistakes. First, plan a couple half-day breaks into your itinerary for just lounging and relaxation to avoid road trip burnout. Second, take a full golf rain suit and a real rain coat for sightseeing. Third, if you're planning on getting a good long look at the Grand Canyon when passing through these parts, allow yourself at least a full day, or better yet two, and make these reservations first (for both lodging and tours), as far in advance as possible. TravelChannel.com has some great info on the best spots and ways to see the Canyon, so check out their Grand Canyon pages. If you can catch their one hour special, Inside Grand Canyon National Park, it'll give you a great flavor for all there is to see and do.

Save on pricey in-park lodge rates by bringing your tent and a good sleeping bag and reserving a spot at one of the camp grounds.

Outside of the typical day-hike "as far down as you can go before you're too tired to go back" or a golf-swing-wrecking overnight mule-back trip to the floor and back, here's a few Must Do nooks and crannies of arguably America's greatest National Park: 1. Havasu Falls. From IGoUGo.com, "Once you turn off of old Route 66 down Indian Road, you will dead-end into the Havasupai Trailhead. A sheer cliff drop off with a steep footpath brings you into another worldly canyon. Huge boulders of dusty gray and red, canyon walls, and lush cottonwoods appear as your journey takes you closer to the village. The eight mile trip down to the Supai Village ranges from STRAIGHT DOWN, to level terrain, and drops once again as you enter into the river area. Once at the village, you have another 2.5 miles to get to the falls. It's well worth the effort. Havasupai Falls spills out of a red faced cliff into an emerald pool of water rivaled only by the Caribbean. It's a playground for those who are enamoured with the raw beauty of nature. Mooney Falls, which is a short jaunt further is not for the faint of heart. You can see the falls from the cliff top, but if you want to take a dip, you have to scale down a cliff wall, through a few pueblo-style openings, hang on to a chain ladder, and pray. You can camp in the facilities or there is a small lodge in the village. Advance reservations are needed!" 2. The Grand Canyon Railroad offers destination trips to and from the south end of the Grand Canyon National Park in an old-fashioned steam/diesel locomotive. Call for reservations; prices range from $58-147 for adults and $25-114 for children. The trip terminates at the original Santa Fe Railroad station and El Tovar Hotel ($174-$426/night). The architecture of the El Tovar is a slightly out-of-place European style, and it's a National Historic Landmark.

Flagstaff, AZ:

Play: Fat Guy's Recommendation: Take one of the country's most scenic drives from Flagstaff down Route 89 to Sedona through gorgeous mountains and gorges, dipping down into a pine-lined river valley. Then buck up for Sedona GC, with some of the most beautiful desert scenery you'll ever see. It's like playing in the middle of a Road Runner cartoon. The greens fees are over $100, but this one is worth it.

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Optional Sidetrip to Phoenix/Scottsdale, AZ (approx 2 hours off 66):

Play: Go upscale at Troon North, Grayhawk's Talon course (Mickelson's home course), Walking Stick, The Phoenician, or TPC Scottsdale-Stadium. Most of these spots don't need any paltry introduction from the likes of me.

For some newer upscale names in Phoenix, Golf Digest recommends these newcomers to add to your Must Play list:

The old standards of Arizona golf are still here, but the area has seen the opening of nearly 10 new courses per year since the late 1990's. Canoa Ranch GC (Green Valley, $79, www.canoaranchgolfcourse.com). With the Santa Rita mountains and Elephant Head providing the soundstage, architects Lee Schmidt and Brian Curley's use of natural elevation changes and precise targets make it play meatier than its yardage. Laughlin Ranch (Bullhead City, $95-$135, www.laughlinranch.com) is #9 on Golf Digest's 2005 Best New Upscale list, a rugged desert test with views of the Black Mountains and Colorado River offsetting plateau fairways and cliffhanger greens. Trilogy GC at Vistancia (Peoria, $99, www.trilogygolfclub.com) uses a combination of 3 grasses to provide a golden-hued backdrop of wheat-like rough, but the good news is the bounteous fairways keep all but the most misdirected salvos on the green stuff. And Vista Verde GC (Rio Verde, 800-898-5768) requires a stay at Resort Suites of Scottsdale, but Ken Kavenaugh's minimalist design features 100-200 foot elevation changes and wide, roughless, target style fairways.

Stay: Originally built in 1956, Hotel Valley Ho (www.hotelvalleyho.com) became a hotspot for the jet set… Bogart, Monroe, Durante, Crosby. This landmark has been reborn in downtown Scottsdale, capturing the classic mid-century design with a new urban setting. Rooms feature terrazzo tile baths with translucent walls, 32" flat-screen HD LCD TV, and WiFi. Cabana rooms offer curtained patios overlooking the pool and Oh Pool Bar. Café ZuZu features flavorful American comfort food. Trader Vic's is brand new on-site, a Polynesian classic reborn with Valley Ho flair. The VH Spa is a full-service escape. Check out the website, this place has done an unbelievable Mid-Century makeover.

Eat: Arron Olberholser's favorite upscale spots to grub include Eddie V's Edgewater Grill (20715 N Pima Rd) for casual elegance, great seafood and steaks, a great wine list, and a lounge with first-rate live music. For something a little more exotic, try the Thai food at Malee's On Main (7131 E Main St). Authentic and well-prepared, and Arron says, "The more it burns going down, the better." T&L Golf recommends The Grill @ TPC of Scottsdale (480-585-4334), Tommy Bahama's Tropical Café & Emporium (Caribbean 480-607-3388) where the laid-back tropical lifestyle is celebrated at this Kierland Commons eatery, and the "Island Cowboy" tenderloin is a winner, or Jilly's American Grill (480-368-8663). Playboy named the Grill at the Fairmount Scottsdale Princess as one of the 10 Best Steakhouses in America. Settle yourself into a grand dining room with mission furniture, burnished wood panels, and a black qranite fireplace overlooking the TPC Golf Club. Order the dry-aged (24 days) California sirloin or a steamed lobster, a bowl of 7-onion soup, and a banana-chocolate hexagon with chococate shavinqs and caramel and strawberry sauces. For other steakhouses, T&L Golf recommends Fleming's Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar (480-596-8265), or Rich Beem likes Morton's (480-951-4440). OR, go for Sea Saw, headed by top sushi chef Nobu Fukuda (careful how you say that).

Party: For more urban nightlife, check out Phoenix's finest establishments such as wine bar Kazimierz, or Bar Louie, a head-turning hangout with jumbo martinis, microbrews, and wines by the glass with a sunset-bathed patio. For live Blues, R&B, and Funk, head for Sugar Daddy's Blues, or check out live Jazz/R&B at torrid nightspot Barcelona.

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Palm Springs, CA:

Play: T&L Golf says: Okay, you've come to play golf and you want to experience the best Palm Springs has to offer. So today's the day devoted entirely to golf. Thirty-six of the area's finest holes are located in La Quinta: the Stadium course at PGA West Resort and the Mountain course at La Quinta Resort. Play La Quinta first because the red rocks are especially beautiful in the morning light and the mountainous back nine is cast in shadow by mid-afternoon. After lunch, go over to PGA West. Don't worry, Pete Dye's showpiece isn't as brutal as it's reputed to be, though the finishing holes are indeed punishing. The seventeenth's rock-fringed green is even smaller than it looks from the tee.

PGA West Stadium was name #4 Toughest Course in America by Golf Digest 2007: "Using moguls, pot bunkers and lumpy lies--a style he called his "grenade-attack look"--Pete Dye designed the Stadium Course to play mind games with the world's best players, and he won. In the late 1980s, PGA Tour players successfully petitioned for its removal from the Bob Hope Desert Chrysler Classic because it was too hard for them, the sissies. Relegated for years mostly as a video-game monster, PGA West has re-emerged as a Q school final exam for aspiring tour pros. With holes like the island-green 17th called Alcatraz, it's no wonder the late Jim Murray summed up PGA West with these words: "You need a camel, a canoe, a priest and a tourniquet to get through it."

Fat Guy Recommendation: Just outside Palm Springs, play Indian Wells' Celebrity Course, home of the 2008 Skins Game. You won't find a more visually appealing golf course anywhere. An immaculately manicured desert oasis with Shadow-Creek-like waterfalls, with a challenging routing through rolling elevation changes with serpentine banked fairways surrounded by puzzle-piece bunkers.

Gentler and more enjoyable was the Pete Dye Course at the Westin Mission Hills Resort, a 20-minute drive east of downtown. The Dye Course is a short (6,706 from the tips), rollicking layout with fast greens.

Stay: T&L Golf says The Mod Resort (888-663-1970, modresort.com) opened in March 2006 on a quiet street in Palm Desert just off the main drag. It may have just fourteen rooms, but the place is already generating Hollywood buzz for its intimate setting and prime location. Owner Laura Slipak is a Malibu fashion designer turned hotelier, and her eye for campy decor has transformed the old Desert Patch Inn into the sleekest boutique hotel in the area. The Mod is just steps away from the high-end El Paseo shopping district and within ten minutes of the desert’s best golf.

Eat: T&L Golf says have dinner, or at least a drink, at Arnold Palmer's Restaurant in La Quinta. The food is standard American; the atmosphere is pure Arnold. Walls and trophy cases are filled with memorabilia from the King's career, and a patio overlooks a putting green that's lighted at night.

Three restaurants with enough style and sophistication to have attracted the Rat Pack at its most decadent: Azur at La Quinta, the new outpost of New York City's famous French seafood restaurant, Le Bernardin, and nearby Omri & Boni, where the curvilinear interior created the feel of a hip dance club. Oh, and the meatloaf was good.

Or try the Casino Dining Room at Two Bunch Palms. The menu specializes in fresh California cuisine that promises to "nourish your mind, body and soul," and after a forkful of espresso-crusted beef tenderloin or nectarine-cashew chicken curry, you will be a believer. To pamper yourself even further, take a dip in the resort's mineral springs. If the water doesn't rejuvenate you, the many diverse spa treatments will.

Party: In Palm Springs, T&L Golf recommends Blue Guitar (120 S. Palm Canyon Dr, Palm Springs, 760-327-1549) owned by Kal David, a renowned blues guitarist who played backup for the likes of Etta James. Good martinis set to good live music. OR, Melvyn's @ Ingleside Inn (200 W. Ramon Rd, Palm Springs, 760-325-2323) where waiters in white jackets serve perfect martinis at one of the last great old-school piano lounges. OR, Muriel's Supper Club (210 S. Palm Canyon Dr, 760-325-8839) is an upscale jazz and swing club with Jetsons furnishings.

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Santa Monica/L.A., CA:

Play: Torrey Pines-South. The 2008 U.S. Open host is less than an hour from here. This thing was a genuine lunch eater even before Rees Jones doctored it for the Open. Book it well in advance.

Stay & Party: The hotel Casa Del Mar is old school oppulence overlooking the pier. Duffy Waldorf says just having a cocktail in the lobby is an experience at Shutters On The Beach in Santa Monica. The rooms and suites are like luxury beach cottages, but with all the modern amenitites. You can spend some real money there, but it's worth every penny.

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See: The Santa Monica Pier and the end of the Mother Road. Grab a hotdog, ride one of the pier rides, stroll out to the end of the pier to take in the view, then walk down along the beach with your toes in the sand.