Fat Guy's Phoenix / Scottsdale AZ Golf Weekend
Fat Guy spun through Phoenix for a quick 2-day golf binge in 1997 as a sidetrip off of my Golfing Across Route 66 tour. My mentality at the time was 'budget-minded course collector'… stay at Clarion Inn, eat at Taco Bell, drink Bud, and play TPC Scottsdale and Troon North. At least I had my priorities in order. I've also been back once for a convention since then.
Orientation and Weather: The first thing that struck me as I drove into Phoenix was being surprised at the sheer scale of the place. I’m from the NorthEast, where we build up. Out here they build out. Even the sprawl looks different (even though most of the chain stores and restaurants are all the same… ah, the homogenization of America), with all the mirrored glass office buildings and colleges next to the faux-adobe architecture and signs in Spanish plus all the townhouse/condo complexes with auto-watered Bermuda lawns surrounded by vistas of the desert hills in between glimpses of desert scrub and the green flash of lush golf courses dotted with tan sands. Scottsdale is on the eastern edge of Phoenix, and is the epjunter of Arizona's golf culture.
You can pick your spots to beat the desert heat; October and April average highs in the mid-80s, March and November in the low-70s, and December and January in the high-60s. May and September start the 90s heat, and June, July, and August average over 100. But hey, it's a dry heat, right? A friend used to live here and said locals basically spend the summer running from air conditioning to air conditioning, with the occasional evening dip in a shaded screened-in pool, since it's often too hot during the day to even be in a pool. Greens fees usually start to drop from max high-season rates around April, but I can vouch that 18 holes in June Scottsdale heat will pretty much kick your ass, and 36 may kill you if you're drinking beer/not in shape/not used to the heat.
Where To Play:
Golf Digest has described golf in Scottsdale as "overpriced and claustrophobic", thanks to average greens fees somewhere north of $125 and too many prayers asking for tee balls to get a kick off a rooftop. But if you're an upscale course collector looking for consistently playable off-season weather along with good grub, Phoenix is right in your wheelhouse. Even if you're Joe Middle Class like me, there are still some spots to snag some deals.
Course Collecting: Most course collectors won't need the upper echelon of Phoenix/Scottsdale golf listed for them, but just in case you're new to the golf bug or have been living under a rock, the area's Must Plays If You're Liquid include: TPC Scottsdale Stadium Course (annual home of the rowdiest college-football-esque golf crowds on the PGA Tour and a tough Morrish/Weiskopf layout among the best of the TPC courses, with plenty of mounding, 6 massive water hazards, and a tough closing stretch; just imagine the roar when you hit your tee shot on the famed par-3 16th that makes the FBR Open more "Golf Coliseum" than Stadium), Grayhawk Raptor course (Mickelson used to live here, perfected the country-club-for-a-day movement back in the '90's, great desert mountain vistas, huge undulating greens, former host of World Match Play Championships, and a finishing hole that's one of the best strategic par-5s around, although the sister Talon course may offer more drama such as the swinging bridge to a back tee on the par-3 11th, then eat at Phil's Grill), Troon North Monument (manicured desert target golf, elevated tees, massive boulders in fairways, crossing hazards, lined with jealousy-inducing houses), Arizona Biltmore Country Club (world-class Golden Age desert Hollywood accomodations and two world-class courses: the Links has rolling fairways, desert ravines, and 5 lakes; the Adobe was built in 1928 with a 2004 restoration, wide fairways, cross-bunkers), Boulders GR (GD Gold Medal resort, 2 Top 100 courses, manicured desert target golf with natural edges and waste areas), We-Ko-Pa (strategy-laced design with split fairways, reachable par-4's and par-5's, showcasing the natural desert beauty, no homes or roads on the course), Talking Stick North course (artfully sculpted bunkers, lush conditions, wide fairways, not surrounded by houses, and a good rep, but Golf Digest says the par-4s get repetitive, and Golf Magazine gave it a luke warm "solid" review for the $90-$175 greens fees due to the lack of dramatic holes, conversely declaring it a steal at the $40 summer weekend fees), and Pointe GC @ Lookout Mountain (home of PGA Tour Skills Challenge, GD Top 25 in AZ, an up-and-down adventure through the desert hills, shortish, great darkwood bar and mountain-top restaurant).
Good Values: Keep in mind, if Scottsdale doesn't define nouvelle riche then I don't know what does. Case in point: Golf Digest's 2006 recommendation for Scottsdale's best value is The Raven Club at Verrado, where $159 will get you a weekend day filled with unlimited golf, cart, unlimited range balls, lunch and dinner at the Verrado Grill, with unlimited snacks and 2 non-alchoholic bevies from the beer cart. The course is a high-end desert design by John Fought and Tom Lehman. Personally I liked the deal at masterfully simple 1962 Red Lawrence layout at Estrella Mountain Golf Course (not to be confused with the nearby Estrella Mountain Ranch GC by Jack Nicklaus). $15 for a 4PM twilight round through rocky foothills, desert wasteland, and Bermuda fairways. Golf Magazine's Travellin' Joe likes the value at Mountain Shadows, a lush, tight, par-56 executive track with in-your-face views of Camelback Mountain that's under $30 to ride most afternoons, and good for a post-boozy-lunch round of crazy team matches and betting; the re-designed Champions course at the TPC Scottsdale ($91-$130.50; 480-585-4334, tpc.com/Scottsdale) is a decent value but not a course to build a trip around, due to the noise from a small nearby airport and holes that lack definition from the tee (or check for great discount deals to play the Stadium course on tee times booked less than 24 hours in advance); or the Sanctuary Course @ WestWorld, an Audubon-certified desert target design ($45 ride after 2PM, weekday walk $71). My buddy Weasel likes Camelback (mountain vistas, golf community), and makes an exception to his normal rule of "Never play a course with 'Ranch' in the name" by giving an "OK" nod to McCormick Ranch. T&L Golf likes Apache Stronghold's San Carlos course ($55, Tom Doak, www.golfapache.com), worth the hour's drive from Phoenix, memorable green complexes, mountain vistas, hotel-casino next door; or Papago Muni ($38/$49, phoenix.gov/sports/papago.html), short on frills, long on value. Not quite Bethpage or Torrey Pines as munis go, but certainly in the next tier. The rolling, traditional layout features ancient stone Papago buttes as backdrops. Keep in mind, some of the best value greens fees are during summer in the heat of the day (if you can stand it, bring the SPF 50, plenty of water, and wear a white golf shirt and a white hat). I only paid a whopping $36 to play The Phoenician's sporty Desert & Canyon 9's on a still-boiling mid-afternoon twilight rate in July '03. The Desert/Canyon pairing features fun canyon-drop par-3's from clifftop tees, good conditions, and a 131 slope.
Great New Phoenix/Scottsdale Courses You've Never Heard Of: The old standards of Arizona golf are still here, but the area has seen the opening of nearly 10 new courses per year since the late 1990's. Golf Digest recommends these newcomers to add to your Must Play list: Canoa Ranch GC (Green Valley, $79, www.canoaranchgolfcourse.com). With the Santa Rita mountains and Elephant Head providing the soundstage, architects Lee Schmidt and Brian Curley's use of natural elevation changes and precise targets make it play meatier than its yardage. Trilogy GC at Vistancia (Peoria, $99, www.trilogygolfclub.com) uses a combination of 3 grasses to provide a golden-hued backdrop of wheat-like rough, but the good news is the bounteous fairways keep all but the most misdirected salvos on the green stuff. And Vista Verde GC (Rio Verde, 800-898-5768) requires a stay at Resort Suites of Scottsdale, but Ken Kavenaugh's minimalist design features 100-200 foot elevation changes and wide, roughless, target style fairways. T&L Golf likes Stonecreek (Phoenix) 602-953-9111; americangolf.com; $79–$115. If you're staying at the adjacent Embassy Suites, you'll save on gas. Regardless, you'll enjoy this out-and-back Arthur Hills design that ribbons through a wash and also features elevated greens, views of Mummy Mountain, and the eponymous stone-dappled creek. Gold Canyon's Dinosaur course (480-982-9449; gcgr.com; $115-$185) has top-tier scenery and a layout that's worth the 45 minute drive east of Phoenix. Legend Trail (480-488-7434; legendtrailgc.com; $185) on the outer reaches of North Scottsdale is a good spot to splurge for two of Rees Jones' rugged back 9 par-4's that are among the city's best. Longbow (480-807-5400; longbowgolf.com; $99) is a fun track with a Redan-style par-3, a nifty set of par-5's, and camera-ready views of Red Mountain and the Superstitions, just a half-hour north in Mesa. Golf Digest likes Talking Stick South ($110, tighter than the North, with water and minus the links feel), and Dove Valley ($109). Weasel likes Ocotillo GC (Chandler, ~$115), more of a FL style course, 27 holes, tough greens, thick rough, water hazards, reasonably tight, and some housing.
Tip: Take the signs in the desert sands surrounding Phoenix courses warning you about rattlesnake habitats seriously. It's not worth the $5 you spent on that ProV1 to ruin the rest of your trip at the hospital getting the poison sucked out of your leg (and that's assuming you live). Drop another one in the rough with a smile, let your conscience dictate counting the penalty shot, and relish the fact that you'll make it to the bar for a cold one after the round.
Tip: Don't feed the coyotes! Are you nuts?
Tip: Like the weather, Phoenix/Scottsdale cart grrls are hotter than most. So as you head out for the golf course, grab that stack of singles leftover from last night's trip to the Gentlemen's club.
Where To Booze, Scottsdale/Phoenix:
Playboy says you can't miss Jenna Jameson's Pussycat Lounge (4426 N Saddlebag Trl). Or get your college party on at Playboy Top 10 Party School Arizona State bars Maloney's (955 E University Dr, Tempe, on campus) or The Library Bar & Grill (501 S Mill Ave, Tempe). Per the Travel Channel, Greasewood Flats is the perfect low-brow alternative to the high-class resort treatment. The last real cowboy bar in AZ is truly a locals hangout, evidenced by it's lack of a phone number or street address (a deeper search revealed an addy listed at 27500 N Alma School Pkwy). Ask the front desk at your hotel how to get there, then grab a cold long-neck and do some Country line-dancin'.
Phoenix is a mini-mecca for Gentlemen's clubs in the SouthWest (despite city regs that tame down couch dances), thanks in no small part to all the colleges and universities in town providing a ready supply of drop-dead gorgeous drop-out talent. From online reviews I've read, Bourbon Street (www.bourbonstreetaz.com) seems to be the hottest dancers/priciest drinks/cash-sucking club. The Candy Store was rated #1 in Phoenix by numerous reader reviews at The Ultimate Str!p Club List (www.tuscl.net), with cheap drinks and $10 couch dances. Centerfolds is a friendly joint with a strong mix of talent, good tunes, and drink specials. The Hi-Liter has been a Phoenix landmark since the '70's with a more laid back good-times vibe (check their website for Free Cover coupons), and legend has it Larry Flint was inspired to start Hustler magazine while there, after seeing local rag Bachelor's Beat (www.bachelorsbeat.com). Check it out for what's hot tonight. Bandaids got mixed marks as the prototypical dancer-graveyard/bend-the-rules club in town. And how can you not hit a Gentlemen's club in the desert called the Great Alaskan Bush Company LOL?! (http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-great-alaskan-bush-company-phoenix). Great Alaskan has a split personality: a topless side that serves booze, and a BYOB all-nekkid side.
Tour addicts know Arron Olberholser is one of the PGA's up-and-coming young pros, and he proved it with a strong leaderboard showing at the 2006 Masters. A 31-year-old bachelor with cha-ching and a Scottsdale resident for the past 4 years, Arron recommends these hotspots: Scottsdale's best sports bar is FOX Sports Grill (16203 N Scottsdale Rd). "You can't find a better spot to watch the games. All the flat screens you can handle." For nightlife, Arron says The Downside Risk (14950 N Northsight Blvd) is a very cool neighborhood hangout, the house specials at Barcelona (Continental, 15440 Greenway-Hayden Loop, 480-603-0370) are delicious paella and citrus-marinated pork tenderloin, but it's the great-looking crowd and late-night dancing that keep folks around, and San Felipe's Cantina (20825 N Pima Rd) says it all with a sign inside reading, 'You don't come here for the food.' For more urban nightlife, check out Phoenix's finest establishments such as wine bar Kazimierz, or Bar Louie, a head-turning hangout with jumbo martinis, microbrews, and wines by the glass with a sunset-bathed patio. For live Blues, R&B, and Funk, head for Sugar Daddy's Blues.
Where To Grub, Scottsdale/Phoenix: For good value eats in downtown Phoenix, my buddy Jeff recommends Cooperstown (www.alicecooperstown.com), owned by veteran-rocker-turned-2-handicap Alice Cooper, and billed as "Where Jock and Rock meet." Order Tony LaRussa's St. Louis dry rub ribs, or the 3-foot "Big Unit" chili cheese dog named for former Diamond Back Randy Johnson.. For reasonable Mexican fare, try Arriba Cafe on Camelback Rd. near 7th. Also, there's a Hard Rock Cafe and several other national chain restaurants on Camelback Rd. T&L Golf says go local at Garduño's (Mexican): 480-607-9222. Festive ambiance, strolling mariachis, tasty margaritas and affordable entrées. Rocco Mediate likes the Thai food at Flo's Asian Kitchen. For a healthier self-serve meal, Jeff Sluman recommends AJ's Grocery Store for fresh dishes of all sorts. Try whatever they're serving for the daily special. OR, check out other earthy scoot-and-boots steakhouse experiences like the down-to-earth pleasures of Pinnacle Peak Patio and The Unlikely Cowboy, flavorful establishments favored for their unpretentious surroundings.
With so many transients, college kids, and transplants passing through or moving to town, Phoenix is a surprising SouthWestern mecca for East Coast style pizza, per US Airways magazine. No less than the New York Times rated Phoenix's Pizzeria Bianco(623 E Adams, Heritage Square, www.pizzeriabianco.com) as the Best Pizza in America. Only a 42-person seating capacity but worth the wait, so grab apps and drinks at the adjacent bar. Grimaldi's Coal Brick-Oven Pizzeria (near Papago GC, 4000 N Scottsdale Rd & 20715 N Pima Rd, Scottsdale, www.patsygrimaldis.com) by a NY native who apprenticed under famed NY pizza-maker Gennaro Lombardi. Grazie Pizzeria (6952 E Main, Scottsdale, www.gazie.us) has ambience and unique dishes tp compliment 14 differnt pizzas. Or hit Cibo (603 5th Ave, www.cibophoenix.com) serves up urban funk, authentic Naples recipes, and decadent desserts. Classic Italian Pizza (1054 E Baseline, 480-345-8681) defies it's strip mall surroundings with made-from-scratch pies. PGA Tour pro Joe Ogilvy says Oregano's (www.oreganos.com) in Scottsdale, done by Chicago natives, is the best pizza on the planet.
Olberholser's favorite upscale spots to grub include Eddie V's Edgewater Grill (20715 N Pima Rd) for casual elegance, great seafood and steaks, a great wine list, and a lounge with first-rate live music. For something a little more exotic, try the Thai food at Malee's On Main (7131 E Main St). Authentic and well-prepared, and Arron says, "The more it burns going down, the better."
With all the upscale golf to be played here, there's bound to be a bevy of upscale steakhouses to go along with it. Playboy named the Grill at the Fairmount Scottsdale Princess as one of the 10 Best Steakhouses in America. Settle yourself into a grand dining room with mission furniture, burnished wood panels, and a black qranite fireplace overlooking the TPC Golf Club. Order the dry-aged (24 days) California sirloin or a steamed lobster, a bowl of 7-onion soup, and a banana-chocolate hexagon with chococate shavings and caramel and strawberry sauces. For other steakhouses, T&L Golf recommends Fleming's Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar (480-596-8265) or Jilly's American Grill (480-368-8663). Rich Beem likes Morton's (480-951-4440).
For upscale Mexican, T&L digs Z Tejas Grill (Southwestern): 480-948-9010. Classic entrées with Southwestern kick. Try Tom Lehman's favorite, the Voodoo Tuna, as well as the unique ancho-chile fudge pie for dessert. For sushi, try Sea Saw, headed by top sushi chef Nobu Fukuda (careful how you say that).
Where To Crash: Fat Guy Recommendation: Whether you go low-brow, mid-scale, or upscale, for God's sake book a hotel with an indoor pool. It's a necessity to cool off after 18 or 36 holes in the desert heat, even after the sun has gone down. You won't believe how the nighttime heat just comes up at you from the parking lot blacktop out here. Any outdoor pool is still out in that heat and sun during the day, so it's gotta be indoor. I found some Clarion Inn or Motel 6 with an indoor pool straight out of the directory, and it was fine for crashing with the A.C. cranked on a belly full of SouthWestern/Mexican food and Corona after an energy-draining desert round.
Fat Guy isn't normally one to recommend some high-falootin' hotel, but this joint is cool enough to be worth the dough. Originally built in 1956, Hotel Valley Ho (www.hotelvalleyho.com) became a hotspot for the jet set… Bogart, Monroe, Durante, Crosby.
This landmark has been reborn in downtown Scottsdale, capturing the classic mid-century design with a new urban setting. Rooms feature terrazzo tile baths with translucent walls, 32" flat-screen HD LCD TV, and WiFi.
Cabana rooms offer curtained patios overlooking the pool and Oh Pool Bar.
Café ZuZu features flavorful American comfort food.
Trader Vic's is brand new on-site, a Polynesian classic reborn with Valley Ho flair. Order the house specialty Mai Tais.
VH Spa is a full-service escape. And it's really not a bad value. Summertime rates for a standard King room are as low as $99/night and range up to $199/night during high season (suites scale up from there). You gotta click on the weblink above and check this place out!
For midscalers, T&L Golf likes Embassy Suites Phoenix-Scottsdale (800-362-2779; embassysuites.com; ~$189/night). This Hilton-affiliated chain offers buddy value in the form of complimentary breakfast, newspaper and evening manager's reception. The central location, directly adjacent to Stonecreek Golf Club, is superb.
For upscale, T&L Golf recommends Xona Resort Suites (Scottsdale, 888-997-5792; resortsuites.com; $249/night). In the heart of North Scottsdale, this is the region's premier property for vacationing golf buddies. Perfect location adjacent to the TPC of Scottsdale and five minutes from Grayhawk and Kierland. Great golf-concierge services, too.
For uber-upscale, T&L says sashay over to The Fairmont Scottsdale Princess (800-344-4758; fairmont.com; from $419/night). The best for a spare-no-expense buddy trip. Within fifteen minutes are some of the valley's best restaurants. On property, you've got quality cocktailing and the highest-rated Mexican restaurant in all the United States, La Hacienda.
Further Distractions, per T&L Golf:
Jillian's: 480-538-8956, jillians.com. Billiards, bowling, video games, sports on multiple TVs.
Desert Storm Hummer Tours: 480-922-0020, dshummer.com . There's no better way to get an up-close-and-personal experience with the desert and mountains east of Phoenix than with this rigorous but unforgettable tour.
Major League Baseball: 602-514-8400, azdiamondbacks.com . Twelve teams call Arizona their spring training home—check mlb.com for schedules. The Arizona Diamondbacks play in Phoenix from early April through late September (and occasionally beyond).
Bob Bondurant School of High Performance Driving: 800-842-7223, bondurant.com. The Bondurant School has educated everyone from NASCAR's Jimmie Johnson to Senator John McCain's wife, Cindy, in the adrenalized art of racecar driving. Group programs, go-carts, gear and apparel—it's all a-go-go here.
Phoenix Suns: 602-379-7867, nba.com/suns. Reigning league MVP Steve Nash and the gang remain one of the NBA's most exciting teams.
Phoenix Coyote Hockey: Golf Digest says score tickets to a Phoenix Coyotes hockey game ($15 to $66). TV doesn't do live hockey justice. Even if you're not a big fan, it's worth a trip just to see Jobing.com Arena and the surrounding shopping and food court. And you'll be dying for a building this cold to cool off in. Before or after the game, grab a steak with a side of mac and cheese at the Saddle Ranch Chop House, located just outside the hockey rink. But the mechanical bull ride is not recommended for dessert.
Casino Arizona: 480-850-7777, casinoaz.com. Las Vegas–style gaming and entertainment at two locations.