Fat Guy's Lancster PA Golf Weekend
By Fat Guy
First off, let me just say up front that I’m here to warn you off of planning any kind of golf weekend in Amish country Lancaster PA. It wouldn’t make Fat Guy’s Top 200 destinations for a guys’ or even a couple’s weekend.
On the surface, Lancaster sounds like it would be a good spot for at least a couple’s golf getaway with all the romantic country B&B’s, great outlet shopping, and plenty of wholesome Amish-related daytime shopping and tours; however, those checks in the plus column are more than offset by largely mediocre local golf options, a glaring lack of nightlife (it is Amish country, after all), a general dearth of unique quality dining options outside of endless chain restaurants, dicey local hotel options, and a surprising amount of summer weekend traffic. Nearby Hershey PA provides much better entertainment and nightlife options, and nearby Reading PA has arguably better outlet shopping, with a Gentlemen’s club outside of town.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you, but if all you’re looking for is a cheap quickie 18 while your golf widow scours the outlet malls for last year’s fashions at 20% off, followed by a ridiculous wait for dinner at Olive Garden (or you want to show your kids that there actually is life without X-Box and I-Phones), then here’s how to do Lancaster right. I can’t claim to have a local’s knowledge, but I live about an hour away and have visited a handful of times over the last 5-8 years, twice for overnight stays, along with my usual research.
Getting There: No matter what direction you’re coming from, you’ll end up on Route 30 aka Lincoln Highway. From Philly, take I-76W to 202W to 30 Bypass W to Route 30W. Regional rag Spark Weekly says, “Before you get to Lancaster, stop in Strasburg, at the Strasburg Country Store and Creamery, which you will pass by as you're driving on 896 north. The country store in the back is full of kitschy knick-knacks and penny candy, but it's the creamery that is the real draw. The scent of baking sugar cones wafts out into the street, and inside, they top those cones with homemade ice cream so rich you can feel the butterfat linger on your lips. Try the Snickers ice cream, or if they have it, the lemon chiffon.”
Where To Stay: Your first decision should be where to stay. Couples on a romantic/golf weekend should go the B&B route to avoid dicey hotel options near the outlet malls. Start looking either in the nearby towns along Route 30 (try After Eight or Biedler’s B&B in Paradise), or stay downtown, which is home to what little nightlife and non-chain restaurant scenes there are in Lancaster. Spark Weekly digs the swanky and stylish Lancaster Arts Hotel (www.lancasterartshotel.com). “There's a gallery on the first floor of the hotel, which in itself makes the hotel unique. The common spaces and the rooms are also decorated with original art -- don't expect to see the standard picture of a tree screwed to the wall over the bed here. The 47 rooms and 16 suites in this restored warehouse are decorated with panache, and have their own style. And with the average rate hovering below $200 per night, a night here won't break the bank.” Or try O'Flaherty's Dingeldein House (1105 E King, www.dingeldeinhouse.com), a 1914 Dutch Colonial B&B serving gourmet breakfasts.
Lodging Tip: Lancaster has been a regional tourist driving destination for decades, and many of the hotels along the Route 30 outlet corridor are locally owned and operated (including many of the chains), with varying degrees of mileage, maintenance, and housekeeping. Some of them have been around for eons and have changed flags multiple times. I’ve been burned twice now by hotels along Route 30 that are still living off of former reputations (the OK-but-dated Lancaster Host) or 15-year-old pictures on their website (Country Inn Hearth in Manheim—a dilapidated half-step above crack whore flophouse). So don’t assume that just because a Lancaster hotel has a 2-or-3-star brand name you’ve heard of means that it’s worth staying in. Check the typically reliable traveler reviews at www.tripadvisor.com before you make a reservation.
If outlet shopping is your main focus and your wife/girlfriend/mistress insists on staying out along Route 30, try the new Holiday Inn Express at the Rockvale Outlets. It’s walk-out distance to a huge outlet mall and a few chain restaurants. Your kids will love the Budget Host Inn for the small indoor Caribbean Water Park (www.caribbeanlancaster.com), or for more on-site amenities, try the Best Western Eden Roc Resort (www.edenresort.com) about 15 minutes away from the outlets. For country kitsch, check out the Steamboat Inn, shaped like a Mississippi riverboat.
Shopping: There are two major outlet malls out along Route 30, the Tanger Outlets (www.tangeroutlets.com/lancaster) and the Rockvale Outlets (www.rockvaleoutletslancaster.com). Both have dozens of great outlet stores, but if I had to categorize them I’d say Rockvale is a geared more towards a midscale value crowd, while Tanger is aimed at a younger, name brand demographic. Highlights at Rockvale include Pottery Barn, Bose, Levi’s/Dockers, QVC, Van Husen, and the Philadelphia Eagles End Zone. Big names at Tanger include Fossil, Coach, Guess, Nine West, and Kenneth Cole. There are also smaller pockets of outlets along the Route 30 corridor between and around the two larger malls (I found some great deals on quality Cool Max golf shirts at the Adidas outlet across Route 30 from Rockvale). All along Route 30 you’ll find quaint Amish shops hawking everything from fresh fruit to country-chic home décor to hand-built playsets to shoo-fly pie to horse buggies. Downtown you'll find more boutique-style shopping.
Where To Play: Notice I haven’t even talked about the golf yet. Lancaster’s best course by far is the private Lancaster Country Club (www.lancastercc.com), recently selected to host the 2015 U.S. Women’s Open. If you lack the connections to get on Lancaster C.C., the public golf options around Lancaster are a little on the thin side. Lancaster Host Resort’s course (www.lancasterhost.com) is conveniently located near the outlets on Route 30. This classic 1964 design hosted the Philadelphia PGA Pro-Am for years, and remains in good shape for the great-value $40 weekend greens fees. Crossgates GC (www.crossgatesgolf.com) in nearby Millersville is a parkland course with greens fees topping out at just $45. Locals say, "a mostly a links design with a lot of challenge to it over slightly rolling hills with a lot of sand, and some water in play with a good sized driving range, and nice clubhouse at a reasonable greens fee. It's not especially a scenic golf course, a bit plain, but a reasonably good course for a quick round at a good price. It's somewhat short at just over 6,000 yards from the tips, 69.9/122 ratings, and designed by Ferdinand Garbin [Fat Guy Note: Garbin also designed North Fork, the course I grew up on, so I'd recommend Crossgates just for the designer]. It's a challenging course with some narrow landing zones, the greens are good sized, run fast, and are hard to hold, especially in the summers, and are well protected by bunkers." Foxchase GC (www.foxchasegolf.com) is about 20 minutes from Lancaster in Stevens near the PA Turnpike. An open parkland track, but with plenty of bunkers, O.B., and water. Forget post-round drinks here; they have only a rustic outdoor covered picnic area for a 19th hole. Foodies will want to play Groff's Farm GC for famed Amish cook Betty Groff's fare at the restaurant housed in the property's 35-year-old farm house.
Where To Booze: Remember, this is Amish country, so expect to see more horse & buggies than hoppin' nightlife. On a recent Saturday overnight visit, that evening my wife and I went trolling Lancaster’s Route 30 outlet corridor for a sports bar to watch a Phillies game, not realizing that most of Lancaster’s nightlife is downtown. First of all, regular tavern-style bars are practically non-existent on the outlet stretch, only the bars of the Applebee’s and other chain restaurants, whose stools are typically already overflowing with dining patrons too impatient to wait an hour for a table. We ended up at a Red Robin (the only empty bar we could find since everyone there had kids in tow). It took them 10 minutes to find the Phillies on cable, then the drink service was brutally slow (despite us being the only bar patrons) since the lone bartender was so busy pumping out milkshakes for all the kids. Booking a hotel with its own lounge is probably your best nightlife bet out by the outlets.
Downtown is home to most of Lancaster’s small nightlife scene (check www.downtownlancaster.com for what's hot tonight). From Route 30 near the outlets, take 501 or Fruitville Pike south for five minutes into downtown. The Alley Kat (30 W Lemon, www.lancasteralleykat.com) was ranked as the best bar in town per a couple Google searches. I’ve also read good things about the microbrews at Lancaster Brewing Company (302 N Plum, www.lancasterbrewing.com) and Iron Hill Brewery (781 Harrisburg Pike), the Brickyard sports bar, O’Halloran’s Irish Pub (764 High St), live music venue Club Chameleon (223 N Water St, www.clubchameleon.com), party spot Doc Holiday’s (Harrisburg Pike across from F&M College), and The Village Nightclub (205 N Christian, www.thevillagenightclub.com). The closest Gentlemen’s club is Al’s Diamond Cabaret in Reading (www.alsdiamondcabaret.com, 1810 N 5th), again downgrading Lancaster as a golf weekend destination.
Where To Grub: The Route 30 outlet corridor is pure Chainland, including Olive Garden, Cracker Barrel, Applebee’s, and Texas Roadhouse among others. Among the few good local options out this way is Miller’s (www.millerssmorgasbord.com), a perennial “Best Of Lancaster” spot a couple miles east of the outlet corridor on Route 30.
Tip: Lancaster is the kind of town where you’ll end up waiting in line for 30 minutes to eat burgers at Fuddrucker’s because you didn’t want to deal with the hour-plus table wait with your hyperactive kids driving you nuts and no waiting-bench seats available as the crowd overflows to sitting outside on the sidewalk at Olive Garden. Weekend table waits at chain restaurants in tourist destinations can get ridiculous, so here’s how to get in without dealing with an hour-plus wait: Call ahead to see if they accept call-ahead seating, go an hour before your brood will actually start to get hungry, or go early for dinner (no later than 4:30) with a party of 4 or less (consider breaking up larger parties into smaller groups). We showed up at 4:30 and only waited 5 minutes for a party of two at the Olive Garden 20 minutes away from the outlets at the Manheim Mall. A party of 5 who checked in 5 minutes after we did was still waiting for a table when we walked out after a leisurely 3-course meal.
Again, downtown Lancaster is home to a small-but-better-non-chain restaurant scene. Spark says be sure to hit the Central Market (Tues, Fri, & Sat, www.centralmarketlancaster.com) at Penn's Square, the oldest farmers' market in the country and recently voted the best Lancaster spot to take out-of-towners in a local magazine, with more than 60 stands.
For dinner, hit Gibraltar (931 Harrisburg Ave) for upscale dining, Captain Gus’ Steak Shop (600 West Orange) for cheesesteaks, Cactus Willie’s Steak Buffet for midscale steak, Caruso’s (2956 Willow St Pike N) or Lombardo's (216 Harrisburg Pke) for Italian, The Pressroom (26 West King) or Lancaster Dispensing Company for Lancaster institutions, or the Ming Court Buffet (1858 Fruitville Pike) for Chinese. Spark digs dinner at Fenz (www.fenzrestaurant.com). “This swanky bistro puts a twist on comfort food, and also has two bars where you can just relax and enjoy a drink." Lancaster's best wings are at World Of Wings (WOW) Cafe & Wingery (www.wowcafe.com).
Further Distractions: Toddlers to ‘Tweens will enjoy Dutch Wonderland Amusement Park (www.dutchwonderland.com). Your kids will love the family-oriented rides and games, along with Duke’s Lagoon waterpark, which is always busy in hot weather (reserve a thatch-roofed cabana for $110 summer weekends). My Mom recommends the American Music Theater, which hosts a variety of shows in styles from Branson to Broadway to So You Think You Can Dance. Young (and young-at-heart) boys will love the steam engine train rides and miniature train display at nearby Strasburg Railroad (www.strasburgrailroad.com). Or hit the ballpark for the Lancaster Barnstormers of the non-Major-League affiliated Atlantic League. The Barnstormer's Clipper Magazine Stadium features a kid's zone full of inflatable bouncy rides, and the Silverball Pinball Museum & Arcade. Check their home schedule at www.lancasterbarnstormers.com.