Fat Guy's Port Arthur/Beaumont TX Golf Weekend

by Fat Guy, 2011

www.beaumontcvb.com (about 90 miles NE of Houston on I-10)

Admittedly I only spent a night and a day in Beaumont on a 2011 business trip, making the run up I-10 North from Houston after a sweaty late May afternoon round down there. The latter half of the I-10 stretch is a little thin on commercial civilization, so by the time I hit town, I would have killed my Aunt Connie for a shower, a beer, and a steak, in that order. So I managed to hit a couple local Beaumont spots, and picked up plenty of good recommendations from my local contacts and the area visitor’s guide I grabbed. Here’s the skinny on how to do a fun golf weekend on the Texas Bayou.

As described by local artist/poet Ann Huey, “Beaumont is more Louisiana than Texas, more gumbo, less Anglo; less Santa Fe, more etouffee; and we’re all tinted with a little swamp water.”

Play: Brentwood CC (www.brentwoodccbeaumont.com) was ranked by the 2010 Port Arthur News’ Reader’s Poll as the area’s best, featuring lakes, meandering creeks, rolling hills, and shaded stone bridges. Then play local golf hero Babe Zaharias’ GC (Port Arthur, www.aquilagolf.com ) namesake course, a very playable layout with a 102 slope from the Whites that should make you feel good about your game, but beware the water in play on half the holes. Also in the area, try Bayou Din GC (Beaumont, www.aquilagolf.com), Beaumont CC (www.beaumontcountryclub.com), Belle Oaks GC (Beaumont, www.golflink.com), Iron Oaks GC (Beaumont), Idylwild GC (Sour Lake, www.idylwildcmaccess.com), or Henry Homberg MGC (www.cityofbeaumont.com).

Booze: Beaumont’s Crockett Street District- Down here they have both kinds of music: Country and Western. Catch national Country acts at Crockett Street’s Whiskey River, up-and-coming twangers at Dylan’s, or do the Texas Two-Step at Alibi’s. Stray from the C&W track at The Gig for live rock, or Star Bar for DJ’s spinning ‘80’s tunes. For a plain ol’ good party, head for McKenzie’s Pub. For pool tables, hit Fast Eddie’s Pool Hall & Bar. Nutty Jerry’s Steakhouse & Entertainment Complex is home to of one of the largest outdoor concert venues in the state (Winnie, www.nuttyjerrys.com). For wings, sports, and babes, there’s a pair of Buffalo Wild Wings—yawn—in Beaumont & Port Arthur, as well as a Hooter’s (850 I-10 W)—wide-eyed yawn. Skip both and head for The Gold Club (www.goldclubbeaumont.com) instead, where the typical upscale strip club vibe gets a Texas touch (think fleets of studded leather chairs on wheels surrounded by flagstone walls and antler chandeliers).

Grub: When in the Texas Bayou, stick with the 5 local food groups: Cajun, TexMex, seafood from the Gulf, Texas beef, and Texas BBQ.

Willie Ray’s BBQ (www.willyraysbbq.com , 145 I-10 N) is the area’s best, ranked among the top 50 BBQ joints in Texas. Larry’s French Market & Cajun Restaurant- Authentic etouffee, gumbo, jambalaya, boudain, and fried gator, buffet or tableside. Pine Tree Lodge- Cajun favorites and Zydeco bands, dockside on the Bayou. Suga’s (461 Bowie, Beaumont)- Upscale deep South cuisine and live jazz. Tony’s BBQ & Steakhouse (3 area locations)- Order the two meat platter with the brisket and links sausage covered in Tony’s great sauce. Really, really good, authentic Texas BBQ. Salt Grass Steakhouse- A great SE Texas upper-midscale chain for sampling prime Texas beef. Even their salads and Shiner Bock bread rock. I had a pleasant steak dinner at the bar here, started B.S.ing with the guy on the next stool, and ended up hearing everything I ever wanted to know about the rise and fall of Texas & Oklahoma land values since the economic downturn while making and losing small fortunes buying and breaking up large tracks of farmland into small horse ranches, from a garrulous 33-year-old good-ol’-boy Texas entrepreneur named Jimmy. When asked how he got into such a thing, of course it came with a story. “Well, I was sittin’ on an oil rig in the Gulf Of Mexico workin’ my ass off paintin’ the rig in the heat, when I started thinkin’ there must be a better way to make money. I thought about everybody I knew who made lots of money, and it all involved buyin’ and sellin’ land and real estate. So...” Rao’s Bakery- Beaumont’s best for the last 70 years. Grab some tasty baked goods for breakfast on the go while running to tomorrow morning’s tee time. Cochita’s Italian Village- An area icon that’s kept their sauce recipe secret for the last 70 years, so you know they’re doing something right. Pappadeaux (I-10 S, Beaumont)- One of Houston’s ‘Pappa’ chains, featuring very good Cajun-style food in a typical upper-midscale atmosphere. Order the blackened catfish, it’s friggin’ awesome.

Stay: For a midscale budget, the Holiday Inn Suites Beaumont (www.holidayinn.com/bmt.plaza) has a nice atrium lobby with a modernist waterfall. Upscalers can head for MCM Elegante, (www.mcmelegante.com) a nice mini-resort complete with a day spa, a masculine cigar-friendly scotch & martini bar, Starbucks, and Hemingway’s Cafe for steak & seafood. I stayed at the La Quinta in Beaumont. It was borderline OK for a night, but I can’t say I’d recommend it.

Further Distractions: Golfers will dig the Babe Zaharias Museum (Beaumont)- Babe Zaharias was almost definitively the greatest woman athlete of modern times, both an Olympic gold medalist and quite probably the best female golfer the world has ever seen during her playing career which spanned the ‘40’s and ‘50’s. She also co-founded the LPGA Tour in 1950. Port Arthur’s Museum Of The Gulf Coast is an eclectic mix of rock & roll, pop art, football, and local history stretching back to the Jurassic era. If you’ve got the family in tow, your kids will love Gator Country (www.gatorrescue.com), Tugboat Island Playground & Splash Park in Port Arthur, Nederland’s Windmill Museum, or escape the Texas heat at Paradise Waterpark (www.pwoftexas.com) in nearby Silsbee.

When To Go: Unless you’re a habitual dew sweeper, it can be unbearably hot for golf in SE Texas from June through September, with high temps averaging in the high-80’s to low-90’s. The summer heat makes uber-early tee times an essential 4 months a year, so call early. April, May, and October might be the best golfing weather, with highs in the high-70’s to mid-80’s. March and November bring very bearable low-70’s temps, while Dec-Feb sees winter highs around the low-to-mid 60’s.

Being this close to Louisiana, Port Arthur’s enthusiastic Mardi Gras celebration in February is a great time to book a trip here. Other Port Arthur/Beaumont events on the 2011 calendar that would make a nice addition to a golf weekend include: May- Jazz & Blues Fest, Juke Joint Tour; June- Zachary Breaux Jazz Fest, Cayman Night, Juneteenth Celebration; October- Octoberfest, Art Of Beer Night, Nederland Annual Golf Tournament; Mar- Gumbo Tasting.

Road Tunes: In 1977, NASA launched Voyagers I & II into space to beam back data, never to return to earth. On the odd chance they’d be discovered by beings from another planet, NASA included descriptions of humans and some examples of culture on Earth. They included 2 pieces of music on a phonograph with pictograph operation instructions. The two pieces of music they selected were Beethoven’s Fifth, and the Blues/Gospel voice of Beaumont native Blind Willie Johnson. Other area natives to throw on a Port Arthur/Beaumont weekend I-Tunes playlist include Janice Joplin, and old school Country star George Strait.