Fat Guy's Wildwood NJ Golf Weekend

Fat Guy Review:  Tired of the daily grind of life in the New Millennium? Chagrined that your 11-year-old is demanding a cell phone? Scared your kids are growing up too jaded in a sex-and-money-crazed society? Then take a walk back in time to a simpler life, like the '50's glory days of the Jersey Shore. Wildwood NJ has finally embraced its roots with a movement towards preserving and enhancing what they've termed "Doo Wop" Mid-Century architecture from the automobile-vacation-happy post-WWII decade. A town built on the cookie-jar-vacation-fund and sandwiches-in-wax-paper lunches of Tom Brokaw's Greatest Generation, you'll find that the feel of the place hasn't changed a relative ton in the intervening half-century, despite some modern updates. With retro being all the rage these days, why not a retro vacation?

Orientation:  Wildwood (aka The Wildwoods) is one of South Jersey's most developed beaches, drawing a diverse spectrum of vacationers, with plenty of family-friendly entertainment and lodging options. It's normally about 2 hours from Philly and NYC, although traffic gets heavy on summer weekends. Take the Garden State Parkway to exit 4, then a short hop over the Wildwood Boulevard bridge. Hit the Wildwood Visitors Center on your way in for the obilgatory brochure and coupon grab. Technically Wildwood is a small barrier island, and it's various neighborhoods stretch about 75 blocks from North Wildwood down to Wildwood Crest and Wildwood Gables. At it's widest, the island is about 9 blocks wide. Atlantic City is 45 minutes north on the GSP.

When To Go:  The Atlantic ocean water doesn't really warm up to vaguely-swimmable temps (even for your too-wound-up-to-care kids) until mid-July, so book it for somewhere between July 15 and Sept 30.

Where To Stay (http://wildwoodlodging.com): Boutique motel (there's a phrase you don't hear everyday) The Starlux (www.thestarlux.com, 609-522-7412) has been designed with "playfully glamorous" modern architecture, Mid-Century furnishings, kitschy fake palm trees--a Wildwood tradition--and the choice of a stainless steel Airstream trailer for your accomodations. Good value in-season packages offset a personal first in motel disappointments: the waterfalls from the hottub make the stylish pool too warm. Other throwback experiences include boutique B&B Summer Nites (www.summernites.com, book the Elvis suite) or any number of well-preserved/restored motels, including Pan American (www.panamericanhotel.com), Blue Palms (www.bluepalmsresort.com), Royal Hawaiian (Orchid Rd, www.royalhawaiianresort.com), or Port Royal (6801 Ocean, www.portroyalhotel.com/). For family digs on the boardwalk with an indoor water park for the kids, try Montego Bay (www.montegobayresortnj.com).

Where To Play:  Upscale daily fee golf has been expanding in the area surrounding the South Jersey beaches since the late 80's, and didn't even begin to slow down until 2003. You could easily plan a week-long vacation here and--assuming you don't gamble away your next mortgage payment up in A.C.--hit a different outstanding daily fee every day. Most South Jersey course designs have adopted one or both of two distinctive area styles, dictated by area flora and terra forma: classic pine barrens with dogleg saddleback fairways carved out of evergreen alleys, and pine straw blankets under the boughs; or target links routings featuring massive waste areas and flashed-up bunkering spawned from a vast subsurface layer of sand, a geological souvenir of the aeons when present-day South Jersey lay beneath the Atlantic. Notable and up-and-coming architects have all put their own unique spin on these local design themes. The net result is a South Jersey golf portfolio something akin to Pinehurst-meets-Royal-County-Down.

If you're an upscale traditionalist hell-bent on sticking with the old school theme, take a jaunt 45 minutes north to the elder statesman of South Jersey golf, Atlantic City Country Club (Atlantic City, www.ACCountryClub.com). This long-time private haven recently went public after being purchased by Harrah's. One of the most important country clubs in the early history of American golf, it's hosted 6 USGA Championships, including the 1901 U.S. Amateur. Legend has it the terms "birdie" and "eagle" were coined among ACCC's undulating fairways and hallowed halls. It also sports some of the best public course greens in the country. The blustery marshside finish over treacherous bunkers with the AC skyline in the background is worth both the drive and the $100-$200 greens fees. The traditionalists' Must Play.

More old school charm can be found at Marrriott's Seaview (Absecon, www.seaviewmarriott.com). Another AC-area former private club, started by railroad magnate Clarence Geist after stewing over waiting for a tee time at the aforementioned ACCC, with 18 bayside links holes designed by Donald Ross in 1914 (with a 1927 renovation by A.W. Tillinghast). Seaview's Bay course hosted the 1942 PGA won by Slammin' Sammy Snead, with a 35 yard chip-in on the 37th hole on the final day of the then-match play event. It's also complimented by 18 of Tiger's favorite local old school pine barrens holes when he visits his AC All-Star Café. An elegant, relaxed Georgian Revival style hotel with an Elizabeth Arden Red Door spa completes the experience.

Tradition abounds at Brigantine Golf Links (Brigantine, www.brigantinegolf.com), a 1920's-vintage VanKleek & Stiles Scottish seaside links on a small barrier island. This windswept layout was used by greats such as Walter Hagen as a warm-up course for the British Open before the long boat ride out of New York City across the pond. After numerous owners and varying states of neglect over the years, Brigantine received a $2.5 million restoration in 1989 to return to its original glory. One caveat:  the sand flies can be an issue here when there's a land breeze, so bring the bug spray and a pair of wind/rain pants just in case.

If time away from the family is a concern, then the classic Avalon Golf Club (Avalon, www.avalongolfclub.net) might be worth a round. The closest 18 to Wildwood, it's a little pricey for the overall effect, due to its proximity to the beaches.  Reviews from friends made this classic course sound a bit mundane compared to other area courses.

More modern rounds await at newcomers like nearby Shoregate (Ocean View, www.shoregategolfclub.com). The West Coast design team of Fream & Yale gouged a precision firebreather from a thickly wooded, sandblasted site. It's already ranked as one of New Jersey's best courses. If you can only play one quick round during your Wildwood stay and you want a challenging upscale course, play here.

Hurzdan & Fry had originally designed a parkland course for the site at Sand Barrens GC (Swainton, www.sandbarrensgolf.com) before they discovered the layer of sand just beneath the soil. Soon bulldozers were half-improvising a pine-lined target links of free-form bunkers, lengthy waste areas with wild grasses, and massive, four-puttable greens. Fry, the aesthetician of the design team, thinks about such things as how shadows will define the bunkers; play late in the day to fully appreciate his art. Avoid the first few tee times of the morning; the last time I tried to go off early here the staff showed up collectively late, hungover, and surly (granted, I was also hungover and surly, but at least I was on time).

Cape May National (Erma, www.cmngc.com) is a decent value, and probably the closest good course to Wildwood. A nice little marshland track with unique charms and character, featuring plenty of water carries and fast greens. A fun routing and worth a round, but with a few of caveats: Pace of play can be a serious issue during high traffic vacation weekends (i.e. 4th of July) due to the proximity to area beaches. With all the marshland the mosquitos can get bad, so avoid twilight rounds and bring the bug spray. And, while it was built with utmost respect to nature and laid out to allow room for a bird sanctuary and wildflower preserve, the natural maintanance techniques can allow it to burn out in late summer.

Back up north near Atlantic City you'll find Twisted Dune GC (Egg Harbor Township, www.twisteddune.com, Bergstol & Struthers). Twisted Dune is a lot like Pamela Anderson: gorgeous, tough, artificially stacked (but I don't really care how she got that way), and more than a little nasty on the outside; but at her core she's just a sweetheart girl-next-door. This windy, minimalist Irish-style links features heaving terrain, huge sand dunes, open front greens inviting bump and run approaches, and four holes routed through an old sand quarry which fit seamlessly into a rough-and-tumble routing. Despite her stunning edges, Twisted Dunes offers surprisingly generous emerald fairways with a general absence of real doglegs. A few holes in, you begin to realize that some of the nastiest-looking hazards are all but out of play. She's no walk in the park, but a peek under the scraggly wolf's clothing reveals a very playable core. The par-3s are a brutal exception, with three of the four at 200-yards-plus with greens that are virtual islands surrounded by hazards. Initially maneagable hole distances build to a crescendo as the routing turns with the prevailing winds on the back. The experienced golfer should shoot his handicap with a controlled day off the tee. She's 18 links holes of Must Play eye-candy which will reconnect you with the fun of the game.

Sea Oaks (Little Egg Harbor Township, www.seaoaksgolf.com, Ron Hearn) incorporates wind, sand, fingers of wild grasses, and lakes into an up-and-down design.


Further Diversions:  Take in the sights, sounds, and smells of Wildwood's 135-year-old, 30 block, 70,000 plank boardwalk: endless t-shirt shops (warning: the decal displays are pure new millennium), James' salt water taffy, the constant cackle of callers from games of chance, Douglas' fudge, go-carts, cotton candy, carmel corn, mini-golf, fried Oreos, and funnel cakes. The epicenter of Wildwood's boardwalk fun are 3 piers of wild lighted rides and seaside water parks (www.moreyspiers.com), including the newly-remodeled Ocean Oasis Waterpark & Beach Club--a novel marketing idea where parental amenities meet kiddie water fun--featuring cabanas and huts for rent, massages, upgraded food and waitress service, hammocks, life-sized chess boards, free wireless internet, camp fires with S'mores, concierge service, and an isolated swim-up bar for the grown-ups. Pack a comfortable pair of walking shoes for the boards; boardwalk parking can be tough but many motels are within easy walking distance. Add in an evening's stroll on the boards and amusement piers, and your dogs will be barkin' (even with a $2 boardwalk tram ride back at night's end).

A Must Do is hopping a Doo Wop architecture trolley tour (Mon-Thurs 7:45 PM leaving from the Doo Wop Museum @ 3306 Pacific, www.doowopusa.org) for a full tour of Wildwood's heritage. Hit one of the many music festivals (www.fabfifties.com), or the NJ state BBQ championships & Blues fest in July. Summer weekends bring 1st-and-2nd-run "beach chair" movies on a giant screen on the sand behind the Convention Center (609-522-2363, $8). Kona Surf sells the best beach gear (www.konasports.com). Hereford Inlet Lighthouse is a good rainy day tour. Atlantic City's recent Borgata-led hip-factor revival is worth a day-trip, if you can arrange babysitting (no one under 21 allowed in the casinos).

Best Bar Nearby:  Speaking of babysitting…

Order classic cocktails at modernist Blue Olive Martini Bar (3601 Atlantic) with an eclectic menu from international tastes to seafood.

Even Wildwood's only Gentlemen's club is old school. Hurricane East (218 E Schellenger) was once a theater, and takes on a burlesque-kinda feel. While you shoot pool and chill at a table, the dancers become more background than main attraction, despite talent like Tiffany, or a pair of blondes the bartender affectionately referred to as "The Banger Sisters". But the concentration of Russian dancers and patrons (many summer workers are imported from overseas these days), plus the $7 drinks, and tame $20 couch dances shatter the illusion fairly quickly.

Local Tom W. recommends #1 Tavern (1st & Atlantic Avenues, North Wildwood, 609-522-1775, www.supertullynut.com, open May 1-Sept 31) as Wildwoods' best party bar.  Back in 1969, owner Mark Tully spent the summer playing around with mixing different cocktails, and came up with fruity 5-liquor drink he dubbed the "Tully Nut" ($7).  Patrons have been flocking to the joint for the drink ever since, and the place is usually busy-to-packed with a young party crowd.  The owner has since semi-retired and left the bar to his sons to run, but the drink's recipe is so secret, he won't even tell his kids!  He still comes in to mix up huge batches of the stuff himself, which are then kept chilled in those glass recirculating lemonade machines you see on stands at the boardwalk.  Only Tully's lawyer has access to the recipe, which is locked up in a safety deposit box in case of his untimely demise.

Online reviews I've read said Moore's Inlet has been a Wildwood party spot for generations.  Today's hipsters will dig hotspots Club Shakers for dancing or Club Casba for comedy. Great covered patio at Kelly's Cafe.

Where To Grub:  If you're a pizza lover (and who isn't?), there are 2 boardwalk pizza institutions in Wildwood that are worth the trip all by themselves, and should be the epicenter of your Wildwood vacation lunch routine: Sam's and Mack's.  Now, I've eaten more than my fair share of pizza all over the country... Lombardi's in NYC, Lorenzo's in Philly, authentic deep dish in Chicago, some of the best wood oven pies from NC to CA, and more local pizza joints than I could ever shake a stick at.  I'm here to tell you that either of these Wildwood joints could compete with the best pizza in the country.  My buddy Bob is a Wildwood lifer who's daughter has a place in town, so during summers he's still down here 2 weekends out of 3.  Bob says Sam's Pizza is not only the better of the two, but also the cheaper of the two.  Somehow I hadn't heard about Sam's when my family visited here, but we did find Mack's Pizza.  Mack's easily makes Fat Guy's Top 5 Pizzas On The Planet.  We ate Mack's 4 times over a 4-day weekend--it's that good.  Apparently the debate on which one is better has been raging on for decades, so you should make it a point to try both to judge for yourself.

For a great snack, hit Curley's Fries (with cheese, or doused in malt vinegar) on the boards. T&L Golf likes the cheesesteaks at Luigi's.

Doo Wop style meets fine dining at the Royal Grille Cafe (Port Royal Hotel, Palm Rd & the beach). Lite fare meets Rat Pack cool at Oceans Restaurant (Pan American Hotel, 5901 Ocean). Wildwood landmarks Neil's Steak & Chowder House and Schellenger's have been getting good press since the '60's. Classy family Italian doesn't get any better than at La Piazza (Burk & Pacific). In North Wildwood, my buddy Bob likes Nino's for Italian and seafood (entrees $17-$21, hit the early bird if you don't want to wait 60-90 minutes for a table).

The Jersey tradition of the classic diner takes on a bigger role than just hangover grub in Wildwood's architectual revival.  Try the Doo Wop (boardwalk), Vegas, Pink Cadillac, Big Ernie's (Garfield & Atlantic), the long-standing Wildwood, or Apollo diners.

Retreat to the modern gourmet track at Pacific Grill, or the N'Awlins-style menu at Beach Creek Oyster Bar.