The Battleground @ Deer Park

Deer Park, TX (SE of Houston)

www.deerparktx.gov/department/index.php?fDD=8-0

1996, Tom Knickerbacker
Back 6943  73.6  130  72
Middle 6305  70.8  125  72
Fees:  ~$42 plus cart Wknd

Fat Guy Review, 2000:  This isn't bad for a muni, saves itself from the typical with fairways narrowed by enough water to make a couple sleeves disappear, big variations in tee positions, water carry approaches, and a few blind water hazards crossing mid-fairway. Nice mix of short par 3's. Greens had been top dressed and were pretty slow. Rough was cut short, overall conditions were average. Solid pro shop. Crappy rental clubs.

Where To Booze & Grub Nearby:  There's a Hooter's a few blocks down the road, or hit Moment's Gentlemen's Club (5133 Spencer Hwy, Pasadena).  The interior was a shade on the old-school-burlesque side, lots of wood panels, and suitably dark.  An 8-seater bar and lots of rolling 4-tops surround the round stage, but conspicuously absent are any stage-side seats, relieving you of the obligatory $2-per-dancer tariff.  I was there on a random Monday evening, and to be honest, I was ready to be disappointed in the joint.  There were only 2 dancers on duty, and neither one was on stage for the first 2-1/2 songs that played after I bellied up to the bar.  Then Dylan came out.  WOW.  Barely 18 years old, about to graduate high school, stupid tight and curvy, only dancing for 2 months, claimed to be in it for the excercise and thrill more than the money, and wore her 5-inch stripper heels to the prom.  Couch dances were worth the $20 freight, with no house rules to speak of.  Worth a visit just for a chance that she's on duty.

For grub, hit nearby Houston TexMex chain Gringo's, or for some legit Texas BBQ head for local chain Tony's Barbeque & Steakhouse (www.tonysbbq.com).  Order the 2 meat combo dinner with the sliced brisket and links sausage.  Really, really good BBQ.  A little bit more of a drive, my local hosts also recommended Grand Prize BBQ (2223 Palmer Hwy Texas City, 3002 E Pasadena Fwy Pasadena, www.grandprizebarbeque.com) as Houston's best.  Order the Super Chop sandwich, chopped brisket and link sausage surrounded by Jalepeno Cheese Bread, and their sauce has some kick to it.

Where To Booze & Grub, Houston:  See Fat Guy's Houston TX Golf Weekend